This has actually been on my mind since the day after Valentine’s Day, but I didn’t want to write it then and sound like I’m lonely and bitter. I’m actually bitter and lonely, there’s a big difference!

So far, I have lived a little over 27 years on this planet, and for the most part they have been exceptional. But here within the last few years, I’ve been having this feeling in the back of my mind that something was missing. For a while, I couldn’t put my finger on it. But after I had a conversation with my father about a year & a half ago, it finally hit me. I’m at a point in my life where I want to have a family, but I don’t have a family. Does that make sense? Let me explain then. While I kinda pride myself on the fact that I’m in mid-20’s and I don’t have any children, deep down inside that is eating me alive. I go places and I see guys who look like they’re close to my age with their kids and I REALLY want it too. Scratch that. I NEED it. And it seems like that urgency to settle down came on so suddenly! It wasn’t that long ago that I was running around, acting wild and saying that I was too young to commit myself in that way. But now, only a few years removed from that frame of mind, I find myself jealous of one of my best friends because he pretty much has what I want. And that kinda scares me because I think that I’m getting to the point that I’m willing to settle for just about anything and anyone to get what I want. And I know I’m way too good of a man to do that. I know if my friend reads this, he’s gonna wanna tell me that I have something with somebody that in all honesty isn’t really there and might not ever be. And that kinda sucks because I think I truly care for the young lady that he’s would be referring to and I think she feels the same way but we came into each others lives at a point in time where we might not be as willing to open up and give each other a chance. I know if my pastor reads this, she’s gonna wanna tell me that God has somebody He made just for me. And that’s all well and good, but where is she? How long do I have to wait for Him to send her my way? Or did she already enter my life and I was just a little too wrapped up in my own foolish to recognize her? But that’s enough about that, I’m gonna switch topics…

And talk about something that all people are guilty of. I’ve given women (especially black women) a lot of grief about this in the past, but now it’s time to just put everybody on blast. We tend to overlook a good person for a good looking person. Now I’m not solely talking about physical appearance, I’m talking about materialistically attractive as well. Y’all know what I’m talking about! How many of you women have been out with your girlfriends and have been approached by a guy who isn’t particularly flashy with what he has and blew him off? But you see a guy walk by who looks like he’s ballin’ outta control and you’re all up in his face? Be honest. You’re not lying to me, you’re lying to yourself. And on the same hand, fellas, we are just as guilty. We go out with our friends and ignore the sisters who look like she’s got her head on straight to chase some airhead who looks like she’s smuggling hams in her pants. It’s ridiculous and we really need to stop!

That’s all I got for tonight. I’ll check back in again when I got more on my mind. Maybe someone will have actually read this by then . Yeah right!