Usually, I would apologize for going months without writing anything. But seeing as how nobody reads this except for me, I ain’t gonna do it! So let’s jump right into what’s on my mind…

Well, I’ve definitely had some “interesting” things happen in my life since my last post. For those that don’t know, I moved in with the woman I spoke of on 3/16/08. And for a while, things were okay. But, I allowed my issues and hang-ups push her away, and it resulted in her leaving me and becoming very cold towards me. Now, I’m not sure if you’ve ever seen someone who you love pull a complete 180 with their feelings towards you, but let me tell you that it’s not a fun thing. And I feel stupid because I pushed her away. Especially now because I realize that she is who I want to spend the rest of my life with. But right now, it seems like I have a better chance of joining the KKK. And while that sucks, it’s my fault that it happened and I’m going to have to live it with it.

Also, the first anniversary of my father’s death is quickly approaching and I still feel lost! Actually, I feel more lost now than I did just 4 or 5 months ago! And that irks the hell out of me! But what gets to me more is the fact that I’m kinda sandwiched in between 2 different types of sorrow and have nobody to go to deal with either! I can’t go to my dad to deal with losing my woman, and I can’t go to my woman to deal with the loss of my dad. That’s just fucked up!

And on top of all that, I’ve got writer’s block AGAIN! AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! That’s the one of the worst things in the world to me! I got so much on my mind and so much I want to say, but can’t get it to come out for the life of me. I almost feel like banging my head against a wall to see if I can make the words and thoughts bleed out.