Good evening world! I know I promised poetry and I swear I’m going to deliver. I have a lot on my mind right now, so poetry tends to get pushed to the back burner.

Everyone that knows me knows yesterday was not my favorite day of the year. Honestly, it very well could be the day I hate most (right up there with Valentine’s Day but that’s a topic for another time). For those that don’t know, yesterday was my father’s birthday. I know its not a huge deal but I’m still trying to find my way through my feelings concerning my dad’s passing. You know what they say, grieving is a process. But I really hate this process. There are days that I wake up and feel great. The sun is shining, birds are chirping, what could possibly be wrong? And then there are the other 342 days in the year. Maybe its just me, but I would think that after 4 years and countless other issues to deal with, my father not being here would have less of a catastrophic effect on my daily life. Don’t get me wrong, I’d rather die than ever get to the point that I don’t feel something about him not being here, but I can’t continue on this self-destructive path I’m currently on. I need to find a happy (so to speak) medium.

I have a theory as to what may be the hold up on getting back on track, emotionally. I’m single. Now before anyone jumps down my throat, hear me out. For all my gruffness and assholery, I’m really a big fucking softy. I love family (I’m loving mine at a distance right now). And I’m at a point in my life where I want (and quite possibly need) my own. The loss of my father would be lessened (to an extent) by becoming a father myself. The problem is that the VAST MAJORITY of SINGLE WOMEN are out of their fucking minds! I’m all for a little crazy, it keeps things interesting, but you gotta be fucking kidding me with the fuckery that is running rampant in these silly ass broads minds. If they’re not possessed by the Green Eyed Monster (greed), they’re hung up on some dumbass that spurned them in the past. How is a good man that is looking to settle down and do right supposed to deal with that? Maybe its just single women in this city, but I highly doubt it.

So that leaves me in my current quandary. I’m 30 years old (soon to be 31) and absolutely scared to death of the single members of the fairer sex. What kind of hope do I have? None if you ask me. I’ve pretty much resigned myself to the line of thinking that I have not met the woman I will spend my life with and more than likely never will. And that’s just all kinds of bad…