First off, good afternoon and Happy Father’s Day world! Hopefully, this entry finds you in good health and even better spirits. I’m really trying to do better about writing on a more consistent basis. But I will admit that it’s difficult to find fresh, new topics that I can speak on in depth. But I made a promise to a friend that I would try to do better, and I thoroughly intend to keep that promise.

For those of you that know me or have been following this blog, you know that today is one of those holidays that is somewhat bittersweet for me. Actually, its a little more bitter than sweet. If you’re new, let me explain that. This is the 4th Father’s Day that I’ve experienced without my own father. While I was an emotional train wreck just a few years ago, I feel more at piece with my life today. I’m still saddened by the absence of my dad, but I feel like I’m somehow closer to becoming a father in my own right. That’s a weird statement to make, considering the fact that I’ve been single for the last 4 years and wouldn’t exactly say that my relationship prospects are the most concrete at this time. But something that I’ve learned from examining my life and reminiscing on the actions of my father , is that it doesn’t take impregnating a woman to make a man a father. My dad was considered a father figure by more people than I care to even attempt to count. He took the time to make sure that he made a lasting and positive impression on anyone that felt themselves drawn to him. I feel myself being summoned to lead my life in a very similar way. There entirely too many young boys and girls in this world that are growing up without the influence of a strong positive male influence, and I think every man should feel like its his duty to take one (or more) of these children under his wing and help guide them to being the kind of men and women that God wants them to be. That doesn’t mean you have to become financially responsible for that child, but you should be emotionally invested in that child’s welfare. Because it really does take a village to raise a child. The forces of evil (I’m sorry that that sounds like something straight from a Saturday morning cartoon) are more than willing to gang up and tag team to railroad young folks into the ways of the wicked. So why shouldn’t the righteous and good people of this world be willing to do the same? Our children are our future, and it is up to us to show them the way. As I look back on the 31+ years that have been granted on this planet, one of my most treasured achievements is being able to be a mentor to a small group of young men in Atlanta. It touches my heart in an indescribable way when I hear (or read) of them boasting about the things they have been able to accomplish in their lives and attribute a small portion of the credit to me.

A lot of men have a misconception of what it means to be a father. They think that because they laid down with a woman and got her pregnant, they’re automatically a father. Conception is the easy part of parenthood. Once that child is birthed into this world, the real work has just begun. Maybe because I don’t have children of my own, but I just don’t understand how any male that has the audacity to call himself a man could ever turn his back on his child. Especially his son. How can you not want to be fully invested in the raising of your kids?! It doesn’t make sense to me. Whether or not I was with the mother of my children, you would have to kill me in order to keep me from wanting to be involved with them. What has happened to the last few generations of men that makes them feel like its okay to make all these babies but not be there to support them? And that support doesn’t always have to be in the form of money, sometimes just spending time with your kids and showing an interest in what matters to them means the world. Why is it that men that think like me are the exception and not the rule?

I think the problem lies in what most guys think defines them as a man. Your manhood is NOT defined by the things you own, how much money you have or make, the number of women you sleep with or any other worldly measurement. It is instead defined by the sum of your actions. There’s no amount of money that can buy you a good spirit. There are no earthly possessions that will help you gain favor with God. We, as men, need to stop perpetuating the stereotypes and half-truths that have been passed down to us by our predecessors. We have to look at the sins of our fathers and make a conscious choice to not repeat them. I look back on all the things that I learned from my father and I realize that some of his greatest lessons were conveyed without a single word being spoke. I learned more about the kind of man I wanted to be just by observing what my father did and didn’t do. No woman, I don’t care how great of a mother she is, could have passed on those lessons.

I hate to rain on some people’s parades today. Actually, no I don’t. Somebody out there needs to hear this. Women, quit trying to garner extra accolades on Father’s Day just because you’re in the position to play both roles to your kid/kids. I never understood women that wanted to take additional credit for raising their child. You’re not doing anything other than what you’re supposed to do because the situation you’re in dictated how you were supposed to act. Yeah, its messed up that you’re a single parent and its great that you’ve taken on the role of both parents. But no woman will ever be able to fully replace a man when it comes to being a father. Just like no man will ever be able to replace a woman when it comes to being a mother. So leave FATHER’S DAY for the FATHERS. Because y’all would be upset if a single father tried to do the same thing on Mother’s Day. But maybe that’s just my opinion…

So, in closing, I’ll end with something that my pastor has said over and over this whole weekend: “Its time for us men to man up and quit hiding in our stuff.” Peace and love…