Good afternoon world! Hopefully this finds you in good health and even better spirits. I know its been a while since I’ve actually written an entry. Once again, I sincerely apologize. The demands of life sometimes take precedence over what helps me deal with the demands and stresses that consume my life.

Some of you might be looking at the title and thinking that I’ve gotten into some kind of altercation with a person that I’ve had a long-standing issue with. That’s not entirely true, nor is it entirely false. The biggest opponent in my life right now is writer’s block, we seem to always be entrenched in battle of wills. There was a point in time when I seemed to be winning this fight, able to push through the mental roadblocks and get myself to write. I didn’t always deliver my best work while doing this, but its not a problem to go back and make a piece pretty. Now, it seems like I’m definitely on the losing end of this struggle. And the problem isn’t solely not being able to write when I sit down to try, but not having the desire to even try. There are moments when I do seem to catch lightning in a bottle and can produce works of poetry or compose a song that is up to my standards. But just like lightning, those moments tend to be few and far in between. Also, it recently seems as if I can only get myself in the mood to write if I’m doing something related to church or God but that’s a whole other conversation that we’ll save for another day.

I’m starting to have that creeping feeling that I’m in danger of losing my lyrical voice to some extent. Like I’ve said before this scares the living daylights out of me. For those that know me or have taken the time to read this blog, you know that of all the ways I can define myself, being a writer is the one I’m most proud of. And for it to once again feel like its being taken away from me (even if only partially) is scary as hell. I still have dreams of being a 75 year old man, sitting in a rocking chair, dropping verses on my grandchildren in between catnaps. That’s not to say that I have an issue with using my talent as a lyricist to glorify and uplift the kingdom of God, but writing is the way I deal with the issues in my life that I’m uncomfortable discussing with another person. If I can longer find relief in pouring my most guarded emotions and fears into a verse, how will I ever find solace?

Just like 2 years ago when I had these same feelings, I’m sure it will pass and I’ll find my temporarily lost voice and continue to write well into the twilight years of my life. But right now, as I’m sitting here writing this, this feels like the end of a huge chapter in my life. I can’t help but be a little afraid of that. And it doesn’t help that I’ve set this extremely lofty goal of putting together a collection of my work and trying to get it published. The number I set of pieces I wanted to include was set at 100 because I felt that would be a good sampling of my talent. As of right now, I only have 67 completed pieces that I would include in my book. My best friend told me that I was aiming a little too high by stating that I wanted 100 verses in my book and suggested that I shoot for somewhere around 75. I completely agree with her, but even completing another 8 pieces (which I have already started writing 5 or 6 of) seems like a daunting task. I just don’t know what to do.

Thank you for taking the time to indulge and entertain my irrational ranting and rambling. until next time, peace and love…