Good morning world! I hope this finds you in good health and better spirits. For those of you that know me, and as you can see by the title, today is my birthday. Yay. I know that doesn’t exactly match the level of exuberance that the average person has when it comes to their birthday, but it perfectly fits how I’ve felt about this day for the last few years. And for some reason, I’m in even more of a funky mood today. Hell, I started this day off crying. Let me see if I can explain why…

Today is my 32nd birthday. There’s nothing particularly special about that age. I’ve past 30, I’m not even close to 40. For the fourth year, I’m spending my birthday without the presence of a significant other. For the fifth year, I’m “celebrating” without the presence of my father. Hell, for the third year, I’m “celebrating” without being gainfully employed. Each of those would be a buzz kill on its own, imagine dealing with all three at the same time. Not a good look…

But that’s not that has my heart heavy today. If you asked me 10 years ago what my life would be like on my 32nd birthday, I would have in no way described my current situation. I think that’s what bothers me the most. I’m not where I want to be and a part of me feels like I’ll never get there. In no way, shape or form am I a defeatist or pessimist. I have nothing but the utmost confidence in myself in most situations, but I have to be realistic. My odds of making all my dreams come true are slim and getting slimmer by the day. But I am one extremely exceptional individual, so you never know…

Don’t think that everything in my mind is gloomy about today. There was a point in time in my life that I didn’t think I would make it to my 25th birthday, let alone my 32nd. So for that I am extremely happy and feel truly blessed. That’s pretty much all I have for now. So until next time, peace and love…