Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner

Together they silently walked towards the restaurant, each hoping that the other would come up with an excuse for them to turn around and go back to their hotel. At this point, the flimsiest of reasons to reverse course would be welcomed with open arms. They both knew they were walking into a trap: a figurative one for her, a literal one for him. She was the only daughter of Angelo Giamatto, the Don of the Scaligniari family. He was a freshly graduated FBI agent assigned to New York’s White Collar Crime Division.

“You sure you wanna do this?” he asked as they walked arm-in-arm towards their destination. “I think so,” she responded, “Why? You don’t want to?” He hesitated for just a second before answering, but his silence in that moment spoke volumes. They both stopped dead in their tracks and faced each other. In that brief moment, all the unspoken words came to the surface. “We both know who your dad is, babe.” He finally replied. She buried her head in her chest. “And we both know what I do for a living,” he continued.

She tried to shrug off what he said, as if she hadn’t come to grips with what her father did, what he was, a long time ago. And while she loved her father, part of her despised him for his chosen profession and the impact it had had on her life. She quickly reminisced about the last guy she brought home. How much it angered her father that she wouldn’t “settle down with a nice Italian boy and start a family.” She remembered the last time he came to pick her up at the house. How Daddy had one of the guys hit him in the mouth so hard with the butt of a gun that it knocked out all of his front teeth. The thought made her cringe at what he might do to her new love interest.

“You don’t have anything to worry about,” she whispered, hoping to put his mind at ease, “Daddy is a big teddy bear, you’ll see.” And while he tried his best to smile and accept what she said, he couldn’t help but remember everything he had been told about her father at work. Under her father’s reign the Scaligniari family had become one of the most dangerous clans in La Cosa Notra’s almost 150 year history in the United States.

Begrudgingly, they continued their walk towards the restaurant. With each step, the knots in their throats seemed to grow larger. After what felt like an eternity, they reached their destination. He reached out for the door handle as he flashed an uneasy smile in her direction. She squeezed his left hand in both of hers as she entered the building. “Here goes nothing,” he whispered to himself as he followed her inside.

She smoothly made her way through the crowded restaurant until she reached her father’s table. He did his best to feign at trying to keep up, but felt slightly relieved when he began to fall behind. Just as you would expect, Don Giamatto greeted his “baby girl” with a great big bear hug and huge kiss on the cheek. Meanwhile, he had stopped at the bar in search of a little liquid courage. After a few minutes, he heard her call out his name. With a deep sigh, he downed the rest of his drink and made his way to her side.

As he approached, she reached out for his hand and he did the same. “Daddy, I’d like you to meet…” Before she could finish her introduction, he found himself staring down the barrels of a few handguns. As if it were rehearsed, the busy restaurant fell silent. Not a single person dared move an inch. “If you’re not La Mia Famiglia, GET OUT!!” the Don’s baritone voice reverberated off the walls, “NOW!!!” Instantly, everyone in the restaurant quickly and quietly exited. “DADDY!” she exclaimed, her face frozen in shock.

“How dare you bring this mulignan into my establishment,” Angelo growled, “Why can’t you date a nice Italian guy?!” Without batting an eyelash, he extended his hand. “Nice to meet you, sir. I’ve heard so much about you.” A look of absolute disgust came across Angelo’s face. “It’s not that I️ don’t like you people,” he replied, “But there’s no way my baby girl is gonna be with some mooley, you understand?” She began to pout like a petulant child after being told no. “So what’s gonna happen now is you’re gonna turn around, walk away and never see her again. Capiche?”

He remained calm, even let a hint of a smile flash across his face. “I’m afraid I️ can’t do that, sir.” Angelo became enraged, he had never felt so disrespected in his entire life. “And why is that?” He looked at her and said, “Because I️ love your daughter and want to marry her.” The Don let out a primal scream and threw a wild overhand right. The punch landed squarely and sent him to the floor. “GET OUT OF HERE!!!” Angelo bellowed. “I️’m afraid I can’t do that sir,” he responded while wiping blood from the corner of his mouth. At that very moment, a squad of FBI agents rushed into the restaurant, guns drawn. “You’re under arrest,” he said from his seat on the floor.

Leave a comment