Category Archives: Love & Relationships

Dear John

Posted on by under Love & Relationships, Poetry

Before you say it, I know what you’re thinking. This is my second post of the day. I’m not really saying anything interesting, just posting poetry. That’s because I finally was able to access something that had a majority of my work on it. Now if I could just find someone that did data recovery for less than an arm and a leg, I could really get back to it. But I digress. This is another poem from the “Letters From the Heart” series. I hope you enjoy it…

Dear John,

I know you have no idea who I am
Let me introduce myself
Won’t tell you my name, just know that I’m the other man
I can be any man
Your best friend, your worst enemy, even your brother man
What I’m doing is wrong but look at it on the other hand
She has me on the side to do things you never can
And it’s not just sex man, we hang out, go shopping together 
We talk about everything, y’all only discuss the weather
So I’m writing this letter to ask you to just let her go
She needs to move from you so that our live can grow 
And I know you’re gonna feel some kinda way about that
So I’m waiting in anticipation for your response back

Signed,
Your Replacement 

Love (As Seen Through the Eyes of a Hopelessly, Romantic, Cynical Realist)

Posted on by under Love & Relationships, Poetry

So I’ve been sitting at my laptop for a few hours, staring at a blank screen on WordPress while thinking about what I wanted to write about today. In that time, I realized that not only do I have a toothache, but I also really don’t have anything to rant about at this time (hopefully, that’ll change sometime soon). Since I couldn’t come up with a topic to write about, I decided to share another poem. Hope you enjoy…

They say love is a many splendor thing
I think pain and heartache are what love brings
Love is supposed to be the best emotion of all
I believe love is like taking a long fall
Why are so many people falling victim to this shit
Like love is the only reason that we exist
I tend to agree with the L.O.X. on this
Money, power and respect are at the top of my list
I’m thinking love falls in the middle, around 5 or 6
And if you see Cupid, tell him I said, “Flip bricks!”
I know you’re wondering what could’ve happened to me
The romantic trauma I suffered must’ve been devastating
It’s nothing like that; I’ve just come to my senses
And the mere mention of love sets off all my defenses
I’ve been in love a time or two
And I believe that love makes men into fools
We end up in stores holding purses and shit
And answering questions like, “Do I look good in this?”
Maybe it’s not love I have a problem with
Just the senseless rigmarole that comes with it
Who really has the patience to date nowadays
It seems like everyone’s just out to get laid
I’m looking for that deep down, butterfly giving, soul stirring love
The kind that makes you think that person was sent from the heavens above
I want a soul mate, not a fucking booty call
I want somebody who’s down to be there through it all
A partner in all that life brings, whether it’s good or bad
Someone who’s an instant pick-me-up whenever I’m sad
But since no one else in the world is looking for that
I guess me will love I because I’ll always love me back

dead-cupid

I’m an Unmarried Black Man, with No Children

Posted on by under Love & Relationships, Rants & Random Ramblings

Good afternoon world! I hope this blog finds you in good health and even better spirits. I know its been a while since I’ve shown my face and let the voices in my head have their way with my fingers and keyboard. Normally, I would issue a half-hearted apology and some thin ass excuse as to why I’ve been absent. I’m not gonna do that this time. In all honesty, there’s been quite a few things going on in my life that needed my attention and I didn’t just put my blog on the back burner, I took it off the stove. For that, I sincerely and wholeheartedly apologize. Not so much because I think the world needs to hear what I have to say or that my massive following couldn’t live without me (let me make it clear, I truly love and appreciate anybody that takes the time to read my craziness). This blog is where I come to decompress and I’ve been denying myself that release. I’ve got to do better. But enough about that, let’s get to what brings us together today.

The other day (don’t ask me exactly when because I don’t remember), I was reading a post on my new favorite website, Single Black Male entitled: I’m A Black Woman – Unmarried Without Kids. And as I read, I realized that everything that everything the author was describing, has happened or happens to me so I decided to write about those experiences.

As I’ve said before on numerous occasions, I’m a 32 year old black man that has never been married and has no children. Before we go on, let me dispel some of the assumptions that are automatically cast in my direction when people learn about my marital status and lack of dependents. I am not just getting home from a long prison stretch. I am not “emotionally damaged and unable to love and fully devote myself to a woman”. I don’t “hate kids”. I have not resigned myself to a life as a confirmed bachelor. I am neither gay nor on the “Down Low”. And while there is absolutely nothing wrong with being homosexual, everything and its mama is wrong with a man being on the DL but that’s a conversation to be saved for another day.

The main reason that I am both single and childless to this day is because I have yet to find the right situation. That’s not to say I’ve never had a serious relationship or been in love, quite the contrary. What I’m trying to say is that I haven’t had the right combination of a woman I want to spend my life with and my own readiness to settle down. Hell, over the years, I’ve had more than my fair share of chances to procreate. But that’s not really what I want from my life. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I’m not really built to just be somebody’s baby daddy.

I find it both completely hilarious and absolutely depressing that more men can’t make the claims as me. What the fuck has happened to our society? I think that’s all I’ve got for today, but I’ll probably revisit this topic at a later day and time. So until we see each other again, peace and love…

The Birds, Part 1

Posted on by under Love & Relationships, Rants & Random Ramblings

Good morning world! I hope this blog finds you in good health and even better spirits. I know some of you (probably most) are looking at the title and thinking, “Is this another poem?” No, its not. Its actually the title of a song by The Weeknd that kinda suits the mood for what I’m here to talk about today.

For those that know me or have been following along, you know I’ve been single for a while. Something like 5 years now. This isn’t really an issue. Of course I would love to be in a relationship, but I want it to be the right relationship, I’m not looking to be with somebody just for the sake of changing my relationship status on Facebook. Because I’m looking for something meaningful in my romantic life, I’ve spent quite a bit of time and exhausted quite a bit of energy making sure I knew exactly what I was looking for in my next relationship. I’ve even put some thought into what I have to offer. Well today, we’re gonna flip the script. This ought to be interesting, to say the least.

First off, I’m shallow. Trust me, this is not a conclusion I came to on my own. I knew I had shallow tendencies, I nitpick about pretty much everything when it comes to my appearance. But it took my best friend to confirm my suspicion. And in the words of my best friend, “You are very looks-driven. Not just about women, about everything. Everything has to have a very meticulous appearance, or you don’t even bother with it.” And she’s right. I’m very particular about how I want the world around me to look. I feel like everything and everyone has a perfect look, a perfect aesthetic. And if that ideal level can’t be reached, I’ve been known to walk away without a second thought. I’m not like Jack Black’s character in Shallow Hall, I’m not gonna automatically disqualify a woman for the slightest “flaw.” Nor am I so delusional that I tell myself that I’m good looking enough to only date supermodels (or women beautiful enough to be supermodels). But I think there has to be a certain level of physical attraction in order for me to pursue a woman. That’s not asking too much, is it? Maybe it is…

Secondly, I’m a flirt. Let me clarify something about this right now. I am not a cheater. If a relationship has degraded to that point, I’d walk away before committing an act of infidelity. With that being said, I will flirt with just about every woman I come into contact. Especially if I find her attractive. I’ve never done it to be disrespectful and if my girlfriend were to say something about it, I would make a concerted effort to reign myself in. But I’m flirtatious by nature, that’s just the way I communicate with women. A lot of women say they have no problem with their man flirting, as long as it doesn’t lead to anything else. But its easy to say that, its a whole lot harder to live by it. But those that really know me, know that the easiest sign that I’m truly interested in a woman is if I clam up around her. If I’m flapping my gums and flirting my ass off, there’s no problem. If I’m acting like a shy little school boy, that’s when you should worry.

Third, I’m an asshole. I know its like the new, hot thing for these little boys to run around and claim to be assholes for whatever trivial ass reason they’ve concocted in their heads. That ain’t me. I hold grudges for decades. My vindictiveness goes from 0 to 100 mph in 2.1 seconds. And once you find the right button to push to get me there, it takes an act of God to get me to come back down. And this isn’t a new development in my life. There was a 4 to 5 year period during the late 90’s to early 2000’s that I got called “asshole” by so many people on a daily basis that I started answering to it like it was my name. I like to think that I’ve mellowed some since I reached 30, I try to make sure that my actions and attitude towards a situation are completely and utterly validated. But, I still have the potential to be the biggest jerk you will ever meet. The first time I heard Runaway by Kanye West, I laughed. I’ve either been guilty of or thought about doing or saying everything he said in that song.

I’m really impulsive. This comes from the fact that I have no responsibilities outside of my own safety and well-being. Because of that, I’m always quick to go shopping for a new pair of shoes or an Express t-shirt that I don’t really need. This is probably the only one of my negative qualities that could be easily and quickly overcame.

I can have a one-track mind, at times. No, this doesn’t have anything to do with sex. If I become focused on something, whether its work or my writing, its hard for me to break away until its completed. This does not apply to TV viewing. I’m just the opposite when it comes to TV.

I hate talking on the phone! This doesn’t mean I won’t call my girlfriend/wife at least once a day to hear her voice, but it does mean that I won’t sit on the phone for hours at a time. I’d rather talk in person. Or at the very least, on Skype or ooVoo. If we’re relegated to communicating by phone, I prefer text messages.

Lastly, I’m a bit of an emotional train wreck at times. This might be the one thing I hate the most about myself. I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve a lot. I love hard. And fast. I hate even harder. And faster. I’ve never really understood why I am this way, which annoys me more.

I think that’s all I have for today. I just wanna say that it truly feels weird to sit here and thoroughly dissect and attack my own character. But someday, there’s gonna be a woman that’s interested in me for more than fashion advice, my writing abilities and sex. And whoever she is, she’ll need to have this information.

So until next time, peace and love…

In So Many Words…

Posted on by under Love & Relationships, Poetry

Good afternoon world! I hope this blog finds you in good health and even better spirits. I’m not gonna go into a long diatribe, trying to explain my prolonged absence and beg of your forgiveness. By now, we’ve all come to realize that my writing is sporadic at best.

I would love to say that today’s poem is fresh and new, but I actually wrote it about a month ago and completely forgot about it. Like most of the poetry I write, its about love. I really gotta figure out why that is. So without further adieu, here it goes…

Real talk, I’m amazed by how much I’m feeling you
Can’t count how many times I catch myself thinking of you
I try to play it cool, sit back and see where I stand with you
But its unbearable, wherever you are I wanna be there too
The way I feel about you is all I’m really really tryin’ to tell ya
I wanna be your prince, will you be my Cinderella
That means I’m not just trying to be the man in your life
But change you from living single to endless days as a wife
Because life’s a fairy tale and I’m looking for a happy ending
Please say this can be our beginning

Catfish (I Hate the Fact I Feel Compelled to Write This…)

Posted on by under General, Humor, Love & Relationships, Rants & Random Ramblings

Good afternoon world! Hopefully this blog finds you in good health and even better spirits. I don’t really have a lot to say that doesn’t have to do with today’s topic, so let’s get right to it.

So, after being bombarded with all the coverage of “Manti Te’o fake dead girlfriend” story over the past few days and constantly hearing references to Catfish, I decided to watch the movie. I had never heard of this movie up until now. Let me just say that a part of me feels like that might have been the biggest mistake I’ve made in a while, like the last piece of my innocence was violently snatched away. My soul feels violated. If you’re unfamiliar with the movie (as I was), here’s the synopsis from IMDB:

“In late 2007, filmmakers Ariel Schulman and Henry Joost sensed a story unfolding as they began to film the life of Ariel’s brother, Nev. They had no idea that their project would lead to the most exhilarating and unsettling months of their lives. A reality thriller that is a shocking product of our times, Catfish is a riveting story of love, deception and grace within a labyrinth of online intrigue.”

I know that doesn’t really give away a lot, but keep reading.

Now, I know I would never find myself in a situation like the guy from Catfish or Manti. I’m too jaded cautious to allow myself to blindly get caught up like that. I’m good to Google the hell outta somebody long before I even contemplate catching feelings. But, as I’ve said on countless occasions, I’m a die-hard romantic. Even though I knew how the movie was gonna end, I was sitting here hoping and wishing that the girl was gonna be real and they would live happily ever after. That’s why I feel so violated. It takes a lot for a person to put themselves out and open up, to give a piece of your soul to someone and have faith that they won’t mistreat it. And I’m just talking about relationships in general, imagine how much more difficult it is to do it across distance and via electronic communication. That’s gotta be exponentially more difficult and nobody deserves to be victimized like that.

Some of you are probably thinking, “He’s relating his own story to what happened in the movie.” Please believe me, that couldn’t be further from the truth. Like I said, I’m jaded cautious when it comes to affairs of the heart and take time to thoroughly investigate anybody that I let in because I’ve had my heart broken before. But we’ve all had our gullible moments when it comes to our dealings with the opposite sex, especially us men. That’s how we become jaded cautious in regards to our romantic lives in the first place.

But on the other hand, some things are too good to be true and should be treated as such. How many times have you randomly met somebody on Facebook (or Myspace, Twitter, Blackplanet, Migente, etc.) and they were pretty much perfect? Not just perfect for you, but generally considered as perfect? Not only did he fall for the chick, but his brother and friend did too. Where does that happen at? Go ahead and take a second to think about it, I’ll wait…

I’ve only met 2 or 3 women in life that I would say are perfect for me (yes, one of them is the current object of my affection), and I’m pretty damn sure I’ve never met a perfect person. Maybe I’m just not going to the right places. But on the flip side, I wouldn’t want a “perfect” person. I’m far from perfect (don’t tell anybody I said that), so I know I wouldn’t be able to keep perfection satisfied. Or maybe I could, I am the shit…

I think that’s all I have for today, I’m not really up for going into some long diatribe about the perils of meeting someone on the internet. Especially considering that I’m just shy of falling head over heels for somebody that I met online. Don’t want to give that jaded cautious side of me too much to think about. So until next time, peace and love…

Need Versus Want

Posted on by under Love & Relationships

Good afternoon world! I hope this blog finds you in good health and even better spirits. As you can see I’m trying to do better about writing on a more consistent basis. Its highly doubtful that I’ll be able to keep up my current pace, but I will try. Now, I know you’re looking at the title for today’s rant and wondering what exactly could I be talking about. Well, let’s dive right in.

As I was sitting at my laptop, playing around on Facebook, I came across this picture posted on a friend’s timeline…
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The picture was accompanied with the caption: “Why only when their life is a mess?” Now, this wasn’t the first time that I’ve come across this picture, or some variation of it. I totally agree with what it says, I actually posted this picture on my own timeline in October…
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My issue is with the question posed along with the picture.

There’s a reason why a man NEEDS a woman when times are bad. That’s because that’s when a man NEEDS someone that has his back, someone that’s holding him down through thick and thin. He NEEDS someone encouraging him to keep fighting. He NEEDS someone reminding him of his worth, because the world has found a way to knock him down and shake his confidence. He NEEDS the strength that only the love of a woman can provide at that time. When things are going good, he WANTS a woman because he WANTS to share his success with someone that cares about him. There’s a difference. The thing most women don’t realize is that in order to be the woman he WANTS, you have to be the woman he NEEDS.

That’s not to say that women are expendable when a man has everything and invaluable when he has nothing. In the mind and heart of real man, the NEED of a good woman when he’s down on his luck and the WANT of a good woman when he’s on top of the world are one in the same. Its all about the wanting/needing someone in your life that can provide what the world doesn’t give. A man always needs a woman to balance him out, no matter what the situation is. There are certain things that we just aren’t capable of doing for ourselves. Now, I know everybody’s mind almost instantly wants to take that last sentence with a sexual undertone, but its much deeper than that.

By nature, the vast majority of men are hunters and providers. We have the innate ability and drive to go out and make something happen. By nature, the vast majority of women are nurturers. They’re born with the instincts to take whatever the world gives them and make it into what they need. They’re like two sides of the same coin, you need both to truly succeed. That’s the reason why men that have the love of a good woman feel like they can do anything.

Now, I understand why my friend posed the question. She, like most women in my generation, have been hurt by men. They’ve gone out of their way to try and be the woman that a man NEEDS, only to watch that guy walk out on them. Or cheat, or commit one of a number of transgressions that have the ability to monumentally shake a person’s faith in the opposite sex, and maybe even themselves. And it sucks. Trust me, I know. It sucks to open yourself up like that and see it blow up in your face. But the thing that needs to be remembered is that it takes more than a dick to be a man, just like it takes more than a vagina and breasts to be a woman. You have to look at the content and character of a person before you can fully determine whether or not they’re worthy of your most precious gift, your heart.

That’s all I got for today, I think. So until next time, peace and love…

Ain’t It Funny? Don’t Ya Think?

Posted on by under Love & Relationships

Once again, good evening world! Hopefully, this blog finds you in good health and even better spirits. I know what you’re thinking, “Didn’t he just post a poem because he said he couldn’t think of anything to write about?” Well, you’re absolutely right! I literally just posted a poem and then I was struck by inspiration. At least I think it was inspiration, it might’ve been a stoke. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a stroke because I still have full control of all my bodily functions and don’t feel particularly strokish right now. But I digress…

Now I know you’re wondering, what kind of inspiration could hit me in just a few seconds. Well, that’s the funny part. I literally was hit with a spark all because of a Facebook notification (gotta love FB sometimes). Once again, I know what you’re thinking, “What kind of notification was that?” It wasn’t so much about the notification itself as it was the person that caused it to happen. Yes ladies and gentlemen, this is another diatribe about a woman that has caught my eye.

Before I begin, let me warn you. Unlike most of my entries, this is completely off-the-cuff. Not sure what that means? Well, basically that means I’m prone to repeating myself and some of thoughts might not be completely coherent. But it will all be grammatically correct, I’m not a monster. Furthermore, because I haven’t taken the time to mentally outline my thoughts, everything I say write will be completely unfiltered. So there’s a good chance I might say write something that is potentially embarrassing to me, my loved ones and quite possibly the subject of this post. Still wanna keep reading? Good, let’s get started…

Have you ever interacted with someone and they find a way to completely ensnare you with even the simplest of things? Neither had I until I had the good fortune of coming across this lady. Since we “met” last year, I can’t seem to get her out of my mind. Please believe me when I say that no woman has ever had me this enthralled without doing something completely spectacular to capture my attention. I find myself thinking about her on a pretty regular basis. There are songs that remind me of her and when i hear them, I listen to them over and over again. I ain’t trying to say I’m in love, but damn, this is more than the average “She’s pretty easy on the eyes” reaction that most women get from me nowadays.

Up until this point, I’ve been pretty vague about the circumstances of my connection to this woman. Let me stop that now. As of today, we have yet to physically meet. We’re FB friends, we’ve shared a few text message conversations, talked on the phone a few times but I have yet to lay my eyes on her. And that kills me. If this woman has managed to capture my heart pique my interest purely through electronic communication, what chance do I stand in person? We all know that I’m nothing more than a quivering mass of mushy, romantic ass, man jelly. What happens when my real-life version of the movie You’ve Got Mail comes to climatic scene where the two protagonists meet? What if she doesn’t meet my standards I don’t meet her standards? What if she’s not interested in me the same way? If that was to happen, I seriously think my heart would push its way out of my chest cavity and commit Harakiri on the spot. I know that sounds a bit dramatic, but what else would you expect from me? And if you don’t know what Harakiri is, well that’s what Wikipedia is for.

For those that know me (or have at least read a few of the entries in this blog), you know that I think of myself as the world’s largest walking contradiction. For just about every adjective you could use to describe me, you could also use the opposite and still be correct. This completely asinine and annoying character trait is most prevalent when examining my social/romantic life (or lack thereof at the present moment). When I’m around a group of people, I’m the life of the party. I’m outgoing, charming, witty, all that good shit. But let me get around a woman that I’m digging and I clam the fuck up. I start shaking like a leaf and shit, its just not a good look for me. I swear I hate that about myself.

Now, I know this is my first time mentioning, let alone devoting an entire post, to this woman. And there’s a very good reason for that. I’ve been trying my hardest failing miserably to put my thoughts and feelings about this woman into words. If there’s one thing I can do, its wax poetic about pretty much anything that comes to mind. Compound that with my mile-wide romantic streak, and you would think there would be volumes of sonnets written to and inspired by this woman. But there’s not. She literally has my silly ass tongue-tied. And that truly sucks because I have not been able to fully express how I feel. Hence the reason for this entry.

Now, that’s all I’m gonna share with you guys today. That’s not to say that my thoughts of this woman aren’t a little more in depth, but I have my reasons for not wanting to put them all out there right now. Mainly because I don’t want to scare her off if and/or when she decides to read this. So until next time, peace and love…

Love, Marriage & Everything In Between… (Just My Thoughts & Feelings)

Posted on by under Love & Relationships

Good morning world! I hope this blog finds you in good health and even better spirits. I know its been a while since I actually wrote to you guys, but I haven’t had much to say. Today, we’re gonna talk about probably one of my favorite and least favorite subjects, love. I know what you’re thinking, “How can it be a favorite and least favorite at the same damn time?” That’s simple, keep reading and you’ll find out.

Anybody that truly knows me knows I’m true romantic at heart. I’m the guy that watches romantic comedies. Not because I’m being forced to by my girlfriend/wife, but because I like to see people in love. That and Hollywood’s warped perception of the dynamics of romantic relationships is the funniest thing ever. But that’s a topic for another day, maybe.

As I sit here on this December morning at the ripe “old” age of 32, I find myself recounting my romantic history. I can count on a single hand the number of SERIOUS relationships I’ve had in my life. Of course, like any reasonably attractive male in America, I’ve had my fair share of casual relationships. And I’ve had more than my fair share of bullshit interactions with women to fill in the time in between something with a little more substance. But as I sit here and think of those handful of true romances, I realize that I’ve only been in love once in my life. That’s not to say that I didn’t have very strong feelings for all of the women that were more than just bit players in the grand production that is my life. Hell, I can say with a certain amount of certainty that I loved (and in some cases might still love) every woman that has played a significant role in my own personal Rom-Com. But, so far, there has only been one woman that I can truly say I was IN love with.

I think a lot of people don’t know the difference between LOVING someone and being IN LOVE with someone. That could be one of the reasons why the divorce rate in this country is so damn high. Who knows. I wish I could put into words what it means to be in love, but the experience is different for each person. So, I’ll try my best to describe what being in love was like for me. Hopefully, it’ll help. First off, all the cliches that you hear were true for me. I found myself thinking about her first thing in the morning and as I laid my head down each night. I was ready, willing and able to do anything that would bring a smile to her face. I placed her above myself in the hierarchy of my life, almost to my detriment at times. I loved her daughter as if she was my own. I lost track of “me” and focused solely on “us.” I know you’re probably thinking none of these things sound especially monumental, but they are to me. I’m probably one of the most self-centered people you will ever meet, but that’s because I only have myself to worry about. So for me to put someone else’s wants and needs ahead of my own is enormously significant.

For as grateful as I am to be able to say that I was in love with someone at some point in my life (because everybody is not that fortunate), I think it came a little too early in my life. I was in my mid-20’s and still smelling myself. While a part of me was ready to settle down the other half wanted to be on some Wilt Chamberlain type shit. Talk about a conflict of interest. I’m not sure if this internal strife led to the destruction of my relationship with this young lady, but I know it has kept me from truly committing to anyone since then. That’s not to say that I haven’t had offers, but I knew that I still needed to work on me a little bit more. Its hard to wholly give yourself to one person when you’re still trying to smash every PYT that walks past you. I’d rather be alone than be a cheater, I do have some kind of moral fiber.

So here I am, awaiting the chance to take on the next great adventure that my life has to offer me, married life and parenthood. And while I can have the former without the latter, I’m not one for reversing that. Did I lose some of you? Let me say it differently then. I’m at point in my life (and probably have been for the better part of 2-3 years) where I’m ready to be a husband and father. Its one thing I’ve never tried my hand at and I’m anxious and excited to do. And while I would be able to live with being a husband only (even though its not my preference), I can’t say thing about only being a father. No disrespect to any of you that had children out of wedlock, but that’s just not who I am. I was raised to believe that the title of husband was mandatory to become a father. I know that’s biologically correct (I’m not an idiot), but you know what I mean. Like I said before, I do have some kind of moral fiber. Once again, no disrespect to those of you that took a different path to parenthood.

I was raised to think that being a husband was the second greatest position a man could ever hold, second only to being a father. That’s why I have the hardest time understanding men that shy away from stepping up to the plate, especially when it comes to their children. I understand shit happens, relationships fall apart, condoms break, accidents happen. But if your actions resulted in the creation of a life (the only miracle that humans can pull off), be adult enough to shoulder the responsibility. Scratch that. Saying it like that makes it sound like a burden. While the financial, emotional and physical strain of having kids in today’s society might be daunting, no kid should ever be viewed as albatross that you’re forced to bear. Having kids is a privilege. A privilege that some people take for granted. If you don’t believe me, just ask someone that’s trying to have kids with no success.

I dream of the day that I have a son (even though I know I’m going to have a daughter. Karma is an evil bitch). I daydream about playing catch, teaching him to tie a tie, etc. I know it sounds like a bunch of sappy shit and some of you might not believe me, but these are thoughts that run rampant in my head. I pray on daily basis for the opportunity to be a husband and father. I just don’t get how everybody doesn’t feel like that. Okay, I can understand not wanting to be married, its not for everybody. I get that. But what kind of monster doesn’t want to be a parent? Especially if you already have children? Seriously, if you can’t get excited about being in your child’s life and seeing them become the person that God intends for them to be, you should kill yourself. Twice. Maybe three times just to be certain that you did it right.

My dreams of fatherhood doesn’t end with just me and my child. I have large scale dreams of grand and opulent wedding that all my family members and closest friends attend. My hours of REM sleep are spent envisioning a life that I want. Tasks and duties that would seem small and mundane to those that are already married or have no soul are the things I pine for. Like I said, I’m a romantic. While most people pray for a million dollars, I pray to meet the woman I’m going to spend my life with. I wish for a million dollars too, but I want the woman more.

I think that’s all I have for today. Actually its not, but where my train of thought is heading now would better be served as a separate entry. So maybe we’ll make that happen tomorrow, but I’m not making any promises. So until the next time we meet, peace and love…

Reasons, Seasons, Lifetime

Posted on by under Love & Relationships

People come into your life for a reason, season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They seem like a Godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part, or at an inconvenient time,this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

When a people come into your life for a SEASON, it`s because you turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things you must build upon to have a solid emotional foundation. your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.