Good afternoon world! I hope today’s entry finds you in good health. Normally, I would take this time to apologize for not posting on a more regular basis. But I’ve come to realize that nobody that doesn’t receive a paycheck for blogging posts on a daily basis. So, we’ll skip over all of that and get right into what brings us here today…

Like every other reasonably attractive, single person in this country, I’ve been asked by several different people on several different occasions what exactly I’m looking for in a potential wife. And just like every other reasonably attractive, single person, I usually give some kind of generic ass, bullshit answer. Partially because its kind of hard to put into words exactly what you want and partially because I hate to be asked. I’m not big on being set up by well-meaning friends that feel like they can play matchmaker. But that’s neither here nor there. Now, I have tried to put into words what I’m looking for, you can find evidence of that in this very blog (look at the entry titled “Job Description”). But even that attempt wasn’t as detailed as some would like. Today, I’m gonna try to break it down as much as I can.

The idea for this entry came from the song, “Someone” by Musiq Soulchild. After I heard it earlier today, I replayed it and took time to listen to the lyrics. The things he said sounded like they were pretty in-line with what I’m looking for. Check them out for yourself…

I never wanted a woman that wanted me for my name or material things
See I always hope for a woman that’s so sure, emotionally secure with spiritual faith
A woman that I can trust with all of my secrets and even listen to all of my issues
A woman who never judge me or how I was, she deals with me strictly through love

Someone who will put up with the things loving me can bring but still be there to see us through
Someone who would put up with the strange and complicated things ’cause I would do the same for her too
Someone who I can be real with, ain’t gotta be perfect because loving one another is all that matters
It’s not hard to explain, so believe me when I say that I found all of that in you

All that I hope for a friendship that’s so pure, a girl I can talk to bout whatever is on my heart
A woman that needs me, that trust and believes me, that won’t take my kindness as some kind of weakness
A woman who bares her soul who is willing to let go, that wants me to lead her but knows how to take control
And when I am feeling down ’cause things are going wrong, she fills me up and makes me feel strong

Real talk, who doesn’t want somebody in their life that fits that description? But then I got to thinking, “That’s not enough to be qualify as a complete answer.” So, here are the list of qualities that I want my woman to have, in no particular order…

Creativity
I’m a writer, so naturally I want somebody that has some kind of creativity about them. That’s not to say that she has to be a writer as well, but she should have some kind of creative talent. Not because I would want her to pursue a career that used her talent, but because its hard to support and encourage a person to be creative when you aren’t capable of doing it yourself. I’m subject to random and drawn out bouts of writer’s block, I want someone that understands that it can be frustrating to not have those creative juices flowing. Plus, I’ve always been attracted to women that have some kind of talent, especially if its musically based…

Motherly Instincts
I feel like this is almost self-explanatory, but I’m pretty sure nobody thinks like I do. I want a woman that has that nurturing spirit that would make her a great mother. Not just for the sake of our kids, but for me too. I have the tendency to get down on myself sometimes, so I need somebody that can rub me on my back tell me eveything is gonna be okay. And while its hard to really know if that exists in a woman without her already being a mother, I’m slightly wary about becoming involved with women that already have kids. Let me see if I can explain this. As I’ve said before, I don’t have any kids but I definitely want some. And because I don’t have kids, I’ve never had to put the wants and needs of someone else above my own. So, in an ideal world, I would like to have time to travel with my wife before we have kids. Plus, a woman with a child comes with a father for that child in most cases. In my experience, that extra person and personality has never been the easiest to deal with. I’m not a fan of drama, unless its on a TV show. And even then, I can only take it small doses. That’s not to say that any woman with kids is automatically disqualified in my eyes, or that all baby mama/baby daddy relationships are full of strife. Yeah, I think I’ve put my foot in my mouth far enough in regards to this, so I’ll move on…

Sense of Style
I’m a stylish dude (as you can see in the picture to the left). I like to dress nice on a regular basis pretty much every time I walk out the door. What can I say? I don’t believe in leaving the house without making sure I look like I’m going somewhere, even if I’m just running to the store. Its the way I was raised. My dad started me out at a very early age, so those thought processes are totally ingrained into the fabric of my personality. With that being said, I definitely can’t be with a woman that doesn’t feel the same way to some level. What I look like stepping out looking like a million bucks and the lady on my arm looks the exact opposite? This is non-negotiable, to an extent. Now, I don’t expect any woman I become involved with to be as fashion savvy I am. Let’s be honest, if this was a hard limit, I’d be running the risk of being single for the rest of my life. But I do expect her to be able to dress herself.

Confidence and/or High Self-Esteem
Once again, this should be self-explanatory. But let me waste some words explaining myself anyway. I’m a pretty confident guy. I’ve been told on numerous occasions that I’m borderline conceited, even though I don’t see it. With that being said, I want need a woman that is confident in who she is. If there’s one thing that will turn me off almost instantly, its a woman with low self-esteem. Especially, if she lets other people’s negative opinions of her define how she feels about herself. Its called SELF-esteem for a reason!

Sense of Humor
I’m goofy dude. I like to act silly when the time is appropriate. Hell, sometimes I like to act silly when its inappropriate, just because the situation feels a little too stuffy. I like to keep the mood around me light. I’m not a fan of frowning. I love to smile. I believe laughing will keep me feeling young well into my golden years. Any woman that can’t have some fun and laugh (especially at herself) can’t kick it with me.

Intelligence
Let me make sure something is abundantly clear on this one. I am not talking about having a certain level of education. I’m only a high school graduate, so what would I look like requiring my future wife to have a master’s degree or higher? Pretty damn stupid, right? But she’s gotta be able to talk about more than what’s happening on RHOA, the new season of Love & Hip-Hop or when Trey Songz’s new album is coming out. I get bored easily, beauty fades and we have to leave the bedroom at some point. So she better be able to pique my interests and hold my attention in other ways. This is definitely non-negotiable!

The “First Lady” Factor
Real talk, forget about Jay-Z and Beyoncé (sorry, Hov & B). This is the new definition of a power couple. And I think a lot of it is because of her. She handles house and home while he’s out running the free world and she always comes across as his biggest supporter. Michelle Obama seems like the kind of woman that will make a man believe he can achieve any goal, wish, aspiration or dream his mind or heart can come up with. Any man that has even a sliver of ambition in his body needs a woman like that in his life. And I have more than my fair share of ambition and dreams I want to fulfill, so I need a woman that’ll make me believe I can do it all and is willing to get her hands dirty to help if needs be. My dreams don’t have to become her dreams, but she should be able to see my vision and do her part to keep me motivated. Which leads me to…

Ambition
If there’s one thing I can’t stand, its a lazy, shiftless ass woman! Have some kind of ambition about you. Want to achieve something more in your life than just being a cum receptacle and baby factory for whatever man you end up with! Even if your dream is completely preposterous by normal people’s standards, have the drive to reach for it. How am I gonna reach the stars if my wife is nothing more than dead weight? I know this one sounds kind of bad, but I’m just being honest.

I think that’s all I got for today. Now I’m not trying to say that any woman I get involved with has to meet every requirement listed above, but she definitely needs to have a majority of them. Like I said, I get bored easily, so you got to be able to catch and keep my attention, and these are the qualities that I’ve noticed work best to do that. There are more, but these are the big ones. So until next time, peace and love…