Yo. We’re gonna bypass all the clever greetings and snarky introductions for the day. I just, I just don’t feel it right now. I know its been a while since I wrote in my blog, you know its been a while since I wrote in my blog. There’s no need to beat the dead horse. For the few of you that read this and are my friend on Facebook, you know I haven’t been in the best of moods today. For those of you that missed it, let me recap.

I woke up this morning and was unequivocably, undeniably, unabashedly pissed smooth the fuck off. Now I know what you’re thinking, plenty of people wake up in a bad mood. This is true. But most of them, I’d say somewhere around 85% or more, know why they are in said bad mood. That was not the case for me this morning. Like most people that are feeling like sour grapes, I tried to pass the blame off on someone/something else. Once I realized that wouldn’t work, I lashed out at somebody. And for that, I am truly sorry. But once all of that was out of the way and I was still standing there fuming, I didn’t know what to do. I tried to meditate to no avail. I tried prayer and got the same result. I even tried to be passive aggressive about the whole thing and post a status on Facebook. No dice, the kid was still steaming mad.

As I sat, stewing, the overwhelming urge to be mindlessly violent kept coming to the surface. Thank God, cooler heads (or at least inclement weather) prevailed. So I turned to the next best thing, alcohol. Now, I’m not drunk or even buzzed while writing this but I felt like I needed a little bit of liquor in my system to help me find my way out of the haunted forest that is my own mind. But in the end, all that did was help me realize that I needed to take a shower.

But in the shower, that’s where things got kinda interesting. As the warm water ran over me, I had an epiphany. I need help. And not just any kind of help. I think I might need professionally licensed help. And that kinda scares me.