Today’s Reflection – 2/11/11

So far, today has been one hell of a day. First, I woke up long before the sun came up. This is nothing new for me, nor is it unusual. But what stood out about this morning is that I couldn’t physically get out of the bed. Literally, all I could do was lay there and watch TV. Its a good thing there are some decent TV viewing choices between 5 & 9am (then there’s always the old reliable Sportscenter). That kind of bothered me, but I figured it was nothing serious. Boy, was I wrong. That was just a precursor for the rest of my morning…

Once I was able to drag my bones from under the sheets, I tried to go about my usual morning of sitting down and write something so I can continue to work towards completing my first (and possibly only) volume of poetry. But, I just couldn’t get myself into the mood to write. That’s wierd to hear from someone that considers themselves to be a writer. The one thing in my life that I have an absolute and unwavering passion about, I just didn’t want to do it. Once I gave up on attempting to write, I looked at a calendar. That had to be the worst thing I could do. Once I saw what today’s date was, I immediately realized that I have been unemployed for a year! Anybody that knows me knows how uncomfortable I am with my current situation, but I’ve come to grips with the fact that it seems like there’s nothing I can do to change it. Instantly, my fragile mood shattered. I fell into dark, depressing mood. I thought about causing myself some serious bodily harm. Hell, to be honest, I’m still in the same mood but I’m felling a little better about myself. Now, before anybody breaks out bible verses or armchair pychiatry degrees, let me admit that I have been diagnosed with depression. Most people that have been diagnosed with depression choose to take mood stabilizers, I choose not to. The reason behind that is because I don’t want to spend my life relying on a pill to keep me from being sad. Secondly, I’ve heard that while those medications keep you from getting too sad, they also keep you from getting too happy. I have a lot of exciting and potentially happy things left to do with my life and I refuse to not be able to show the correct emotion because of some pill I take! That just sounds dumb! Also, have you seen the commercials for those medications? How is suicidal thoughts a side effect for a pill that is supposed to help fight depression? Why waste my money on something that can happen organically? Where they do that bulls**t at?! But back to my topic…

So there I was, down in the dumps, completely depressed and ready to give up (and when I say give up, I really mean give up!) but the most beautiful thing happened. Something (I’m gonna give the credit to God because I know it doesn’t belong to me) made post how I was feeling on Facebook. I know what you’re thinking, “That’s not a big deal, everybody does that.” This is true. On a daily basis, I come across at least one of my friends reaching out, trying to share what’s really going on in their life instead of continuing to pollute the internet with mindless dribble. But what this so special to me was the outpour of concerned and inspiratioanl comments I got. Mind you, these comments were only submitted by a handful (literally 6) of people, but they went so far out of their way to make sure that tried to lift my spirit. And I don’t know how to say thank you for that but I’ll spend the rest of my life looking for a way.

I know this isn’t earth shaking to most people, but it is to me. I’m a person that doesn’t believe in letting just anyone into my world and the majority of people that have found their way into my life still aren’t privy to my most private of thoughts. I’m trying to change that though, this blog is evidence of that. What makes the events of this morning so huge and thus blog-worthy to me is the group of people that felt compelled to reach out. If I had to pick six people that I thought would go out of their way to try and cheer me up this morning, I would have been wrong about all but 2, maybe 3. That’s huge! That means there were 3 or 4 people who just so happen to be on Facebook this morning, saw my status and felt compelled to say something to me! That speaks volumes about the goodness and love that naturally lies within all of us. So why can’t we tap into that all the time? Why do we choose to either ignore or mistreat each other? Wouldn’t the world be a better place if we cared about our fellow man in a fraction of the way that those 6 people did for me this morning? That’s all I got for right now. But, thanks to 6 angels, I’ll be here to share more with you later. Peace and love…

The Meaning of Rose Colors…

Fellas (and ladies), we are less than a week away from Valentine’s Day and some of us (if not most) have yet to find a gift for that special person in our lives. While I can’t tell you what to get for him/her, I can give you something to think about if you’re considering going with the always reliable bouquet of roses. Below you’ll find the meaning behind different colors of roses. Be sure to choose wisely, you would hate to send the wrong message…

Red: Love and Romance
The Red Rose not only carries more meaning than many other color roses, it is also one of the most universal of all symbols. The long, storied history of the red rose has lent it a wealth of significance. Red roses have been represented in countless works of art, from classical paintings and poetry to modern day music and media. They have appeared throughout history and across many cultures as political and religious symbols. The mystique of the red rose has been a source of immeasurable inspiration for many throughout the ages. However, it is as the symbol for love that the red rose is most commonly recognized.

Red roses, as we think of them today, are the traditional symbol for love and romance. The modern red rose we are now familiar with was introduced to Europe from China in the 1800’s. However, the meanings associated with them can be traced back many centuries, even to some of the earliest societies. The color red itself evolved from an early primal symbol for life into a metaphor for deep emotion. In Greek and Roman mythology the red rose was closely tied to the goddess of love. Many early cultures used red roses to decorate marriage ceremonies and they were often a part of traditional wedding attire. Through this practice, the red rose became known as a symbol for love and fidelity. As the tradition of exchanging roses and other flowers as gifts of affection came into prevalence, the red rose naturally became the flower of choice for sending the strongest message of love. This is a tradition that has endured to the present day.

Red roses continue to be the most popular way to say “I love you” to someone special. The rich heritage of the red rose has culminated in its modern day image as the lover’s rose. They are the definitive symbol for romantic sentiments, representing true love, stronger than thorns. Red roses are a meaningful gift, perfect for expressing feelings for a loved one on Valentine’s Day, an anniversary or simply “just because.” For the budding relationship, a red rose bouquet can also signal the beginning of romantic intentions. They can send a message of commitment and an invitation to take the next step. Even the simplicity of a single red rose can elicit a powerful response. Whatever the occasion, red roses have an allure that is hard to resist!

Pink: Love, Gratitude or Appreciation
Pink roses have a rich history that comes with being one of the longest existing roses known to us – in fact, pink roses have even been depicted in some of the earliest known pieces of art. When roses first began to be cultivated, the majority of them existed in various shades of pink, from the palest pink to the deepest crimson. Prior to that, pink roses were the dominant species among wild roses, and were likely among the earliest roses to evolve.

In time, discoveries of new rose species and the development of modern hybridization techniques would introduce many new colors of roses. Also introduced at this time were roses with the ability to bloom repeatedly throughout the year. This was a significant development, as earlier garden roses would typically only bloom once a year. As more colors and types of roses entered the palette, each began to take on their own meanings. So too, did the meaning of the pink rose become more refined.

Above all, roses are a symbol for love and gratitude. As the pink rose was the most prevalent among the old garden roses, it was most strongly associated with these sentiments. While different roses may have more specific meanings, these are still the underlying message of any color rose. Pink roses also now carry a connotation of grace and elegance, as well as sweetness and poetic romance. Different shades of pink also carry their own significance. Dark pink roses are symbolic of gratitude and appreciation, and are a traditional way to send a message of thanks. Light pink roses are associated with gentleness and admiration, and can also be used as an expression of sympathy.

With the many ways in which they can be used to express a range of meanings, pink roses continue to maintain their popularity. The beautiful appearance and fragrance so strongly associated with roses in general, as well as their symbolic importance, can be traced back to the pink rose. While much has changed over the years, pink roses have consistently held their place of prominence in the world of flowers. Today, pink roses enjoy their own unique position representing elegance and refinement, as well as communicating thanks and admiration. The recipient of an arrangement of pink roses is sure to feel appreciated and special.

Yellow: Friendship, Joy or “Get Well”
Yellow roses have a shorter, albeit no less fascinating, history than other roses. It wasn’t until around the 18th century that yellow roses were discovered growing naturally in parts of the Middle East. Prior to this, roses in cultivation predominantly existed in various shades of pink and to a lesser extent, white. However, once the first yellow roses were introduced, their popularity quickly spread.

During roughly this same time period, new rose cross-breeding and hybridization techniques were being innovated. These experiments would play an important role in the evolution of the yellow rose. One of the more compelling attributes of most roses is their sweet smelling fragrance. This was a trait that the first yellow roses did not share, and in fact, quite the opposite was true! In time however, as breeding and cultivation methods were refined, hybridizers were able to gradually phase in the more pleasing aroma that rose-lovers are accustomed to.

Also changed over the years were the meanings related to yellow roses. Throughout history, the color yellow has been closely associated with the sun. As the source of light and warmth, the sun is integral to life on Earth, and has been worshiped in many early societies. It should come as no surprise that the color of the sun would hold many positive connotations. In many Eastern cultures, for example, the color yellow represents joy, wisdom and power. However, in Europe at the time of the introduction of these roses, the color yellow carried much more negative overtones. Consequently, yellow roses were long used as a symbol for jealousy and dying love. As time went on, however, the more universal meanings connected with the color yellow have come to prevail and entwine themselves with the yellow rose. Today yellow roses are more commonly associated with joy and friendship.

A bouquet of yellow roses now brings to mind all of the sunny, cheerful feelings of warmth and happiness. In contrast to the romantic meanings attributed to other roses, the yellow rose is purely a symbol for friendship. This gives it a unique place in the pantheon of roses. Yellow roses can send the perfect message of appreciation and platonic love without the romantic subtext of other colors. They can represent feelings of joy and delight, and are an ideal way to brighten someone’s day who may be feeling down. There is perhaps no other flower that is able to bring out a smile in quite the way that a yellow rose can.

White: Purity, Innocence, Sympathy or Spirituality
With its pristine appearance, the white rose has come to symbolize purity, innocence and secrecy. There are myths and legends from several different cultures relating to the origin of the first rose which is initially white in color and is then miraculously transformed. Oftentimes the pure white rose was depicted as being stained by blood, or made to blush from a kiss. The recurrence of this theme does a great deal to establish the white rose as a symbol for purity.

Early traditions also used white roses as a symbol for true love, an association which would later become the hallmark of the red roses. However, white roses continue to endure and retain their symbolism of innocence. White roses are now used to express a number of different sentiments.

Also known as the bridal rose, the white rose is a traditional wedding flower. In this sense, they are a representation of unity, virtue, and the pureness of a new bond of love. White roses are also a symbol for young love, which further strengthens the association, and makes them ideal for marriages. Bridal bouquets are often comprised of white roses and other white flowers.

White roses are also associated with honor and reverence, which makes them a fitting memorial for a departed loved one. Funeral and sympathy arrangements traditionally incorporate white roses as a part of the tribute. As a symbol of remembrance, the white rose represents heavenliness and is an expression of spiritual love and respect.

While most of the long-established meanings of white roses are still quite commonly used today, others have become less prevalent. White rosebuds, for example, are a traditional symbol for girlhood and carry an underlying message of one too young for love. While perhaps no longer falling into the realm of common knowledge, this is still very much a part of the language of roses.

White roses can mean many things to many different people. They can symbolize new beginnings, or be a sign of farewell. They can convey feelings of love, friendship, respect and hope. Underlying all of these messages is the impression of innocence and purity with which white roses are now synonymous. An arrangement of white roses is not only beautiful; it can carry a complexity that belies its simpler appearance. Whatever the reason white roses are given, it can be assured that they will be deeply appreciated by their recipient.

Orange: Desire, Enthusiasm or Passion
Orange roses have emerged as one of the true stand-outs among today’s popular rose varieties. The fiery color of an orange rose immediately conjures up passionate thoughts of romance. They can also be reminiscent of the warmth of a glowing sunset, or the sweetness of citrus. Orange roses come in a range of shades, from bright orange to softer coral and peach colors. Since the introduction of the orange rose into the world of roses, they have quickly found their place in the hearts and imaginations of rose aficionados everywhere.

Near the turn of the 20th century, rose cultivators began to produce orange roses, thanks to the recent discovery of wild yellow roses, and the spread of advanced hybridization techniques. As these early experiments to produce orange roses yielded positive results, rose enthusiasts found themselves with a new layer to add to the increasingly rich tapestry of rose meanings.

The orange rose has mainly come to be regarded as the symbol for desire, enthusiasm and passion. Being a literal mixture of the colors yellow and red, orange roses were often seen as a bridge between the feelings of friendship symbolized by yellow roses, and love associated with red roses. Giving a bouquet of orange roses could be a sign of emerging romantic feelings and the desire to move a relationship beyond the stage of friendship. In addition, they can be an expression of fascination, or a gift to say “I’m proud of you.” Orange roses have also become popular as a Halloween flower.

The association of orange roses with romantic expressions is fitting, considering the obvious connection between the color of fire and the metaphors we associate with it. The orange rose has become the perfect way to symbolize the heat of passion, burning desire and the flames of love. Orange roses have a power to send a message of romance that can rival even the red rose!

In the relatively short time the orange roses have been on the scene, they have had quite an impact. From those who simply enjoy the warming color, to those who wish to convey that special meaning, the orange rose has become a mainstay in the family of roses. They can have the soft radiance of an autumn sunset which warms and soothes the spirit. At the same time, orange roses can have an intensity that can consume hearts and souls, much like the fire that we associate them with. Whatever their purpose, a bouquet of orange roses is sure to heat things up!

Lavender: Enchantment, Majesty or Love at First Sight
One of the rarest and most visually stunning rose colors is lavender. The eye-catching shades of light purple have made the lavender rose a wildly popular alternative for romantic occasions, as well as an everyday favorite for all who enjoy its distinctive appearance. A bouquet of lavender roses can definitely make a striking impression. In addition, there are many time-honored meanings traditionally associated with them. Few other flowers can match the beauty of these fascinating roses.

Lavender roses have had a captivating allure throughout their long history. There are several lavender rose varieties in cultivation, ranging from the Old Garden varieties to more modern rose hybrids. Lavender rose species include miniature rose bushes as well as larger single bloom flowers. It is the longer stemmed variation that has become the most popular for floral arrangements, and which often carries the most symbolic significance.

As with other roses, lavender roses have their own special meanings which have evolved over the years of their existence. The lavender rose is often a sign of enchantment and love at first sight. Those who have been enraptured by feelings of love and adoration have used lavender roses to express their romantic feelings and intentions. The color purple also has a traditional association with royalty. In this regard, shades of lavender roses can suggest an air of regal majesty and splendor.

Lavender roses also share some of the symbolism of the fabled blue rose. Because blue roses do not occur naturally, they have come to represent the mysterious and unattainable. The goal of discovering the first blue rose has ignited many imaginations. While the quest for truly blue roses continues, many of the meanings associated with them have become tied to its nearest existing relative, the lavender rose. Thus, lavender roses can also represent wonder and impossibility, with a sense of the magical.

As a way to express our most sincere love and appreciation, the appeal of the lavender rose is undeniable. They can be the perfect choice for those wishing to make an impact with a unique and extraordinary flower. With the wealth of symbolism that they possess, they can also be used to convey any number of deeply meaningful messages. Throughout the history of roses, the lavender rose has stood out as one of the most remarkable and engaging varieties available. Receiving a bouquet of lavender roses can make for an unforgettable experience.

Hopefully, this helps you convey the appropriate message if you decide to send that special person in your life a bouquet of roses. I know it helped me! Now I just gotta decide who I’m sending them to (not really, I just gotta decide where I want her to receive them)….

The Answer…

I know what you’re thinking, “What’s the question?” Well, over the past week, I have been asked if my declaration of love for a certain woman is earnest and heartfelt, and how do I know for sure that I feel this way. Well, the answer to the first part of that question is yes. The answer to the second part is a little more lengthy and can be found below…

First and foremost, there is physical attraction. Anybody who doesn’t believe that physical attraction plays a large part in love needs to go jump off a building. Now. Secondly, she’s the one woman in my life that I become completely tongue-tied around. I feel like a shy schoolboy in her presence most of the times. I know what you’re thinking. If you love or are in love with someone, you should be able to speak to them freely. That might apply to the average person, but not me. I’ve worked diligently over the course of my adult life to be eloquent, articulate, well-spoken or whatever adjective you want to use, but when a woman has my heart, I find myself reverting back that shy little kid I used to be. It truly gets on my nerves but it’s one of the best barometers I have for gauging my feelings for a person. Third, there’s all the “attributes” that I look for in a woman. She’s smart, caring, sensitive and she has a great sense of humor. Also, she dominates my thoughts on a daily basis. I literally have to find something else to occupy my mind in order to stop myself from daydreaming about her. Now, I would love to take credit for coming to this conclusion, but I actually owe my best friend thanks for shining a light onto it and making me think. (Thanks Shay!) Please believe that there are more reasons, but I’m not able to express them in words at this time. But as I’m able to translate my feelings into text, I’ll be sure to come back and amend this entry, so check back from time to time. I’ll holla…

Today’s Reflection – 2/3/11

The day is hardly over but this something that has been on my mind for a while. As I write this, I’m laying in bed watching “500 Days of Summer” and I realized something. I tend to watch a LOT of romantic comedies! I know you were probably expecting me to talk about something else, but it’s what’s on my mind for some reason. If I think about it, I’ve seen more than my fair share of romantic comedies. Now that I think about it, some of my favorite movies are listed under this genre. I thought about listing them, but I’m just not comfortable enough doing that…

I’m sure there has to be a reason why a seemingly normal, heterosexual man thoroughly enjoys watching movies about people falling in love, falling out of love, discovering love, all the while making a fool of themselves. If I had to guess at that reason I would say it’s because I’m truly a romantic at heart. Actually, if I had to label myself I would say that I’m a hopelessly romantic, cynical realist. What that means is that my heart sees the goodness that’s around while my head tends to over-analyze everything and focus on the negativity that surrounds us in our everyday life. This oxymoronic, Dr. Jekyl/Mr. Hyde, contradictory way of looking at the world tends have me spending my days masquerading about as if love is something that I don’t need nor want in my life, but that has got to be the biggest lie I ever have or ever will tell. I spend most of my days literally fighting the urge to write sappy love poetry and even sappier love songs (I figure the world doesn’t need more of either). I’m coming to the point in my life that I think I’m ready to cut off the second half of self-appointed tag and become one of those people that looks at life and only sees the good side of everything. But then again, being that saccharin sweet is definitely for the birds…

Okay, maybe that’s not entirely true. Looking at it realistically, nobody can ever be THAT happy at any time, and no one can be happy ALL the time. It’s just impossible. That’s not to say that people can’t be happy, I’m (reasonably) happy with where my life is. I’m 30 years old, I’ve never been arrested (okay there was that one time but that doesn’t count), I don’t have a bunch of illegitimate children running around and I still have the opportunity to grab the world by the short & curlies and do whatever it is I wanna do with my life. On the other hand, I wake up everyday and feel like something is missing. For a while, during my mid-20’s, I couldn’t put my finger on what it was. But all of a sudden, I had an epiphany. Actually, it wasn’t so much “all of a sudden” as it was slowly but surely, the light came on. Think less like flicking a light switch, more like building a campfire. The troubling part about it is that it took the major tragedy of my so far to turn that light on. If you’re unsure as to what I might be speaking of, let me expound: on July 27, 2007, I took my father to the hospital. Less than 2 months later, on September 7, 2007, he passed away. My father’s death left me feeling all alone in the world. Scratch that. My father’s death left me all alone in the world. When I say that to most people, they think that I have no family. that’s not the case. I actually have a really big family, but I’m somewhat estranged from them. I only see my family on certain holidays and those visits always feel so awkward. Because of that estrangement, I tend to not consider my family to be a part of my life, especially in times of need. And the death of my father could definitely be considered a time of need. It’s not as though there was no effort made. My mother came to see me while my father was in the hospital. I’ve never told her how much that meant to me. Maybe I will one day. But back to my subject…

The great realization that I came to while my father laid in a hospital bed fighting for and losing his life was that life was too short to continue doing the bulls**t that I had been doing up until that point (I know you wanna know what exactly I was doing, but this not the time nor place). But this realization punched me right in my soul, especially on the day my father died. Like any normal person, I spent a few months sulking and mourning. But once that period had passed, my need to settle down and start a family went into overdrive. That definitely was not a good look. I quickly started a relationship with a woman that I’m not sure I really had a future with. And by the time I was able to see the truth, we were living together and I was the victim of loving the wrong person. Life lesson learned. I still carry a picture of that woman in my wallet to serve as a reminder to never allow myself to fall into a situation like that again. But, the cautiousness has led me to be overly wary of just about any romantic relationship. Until now. That’s not to say that I’m ready to jump into a relationship right now. That’s nowhere near the case. But I’m open to the possibility of possibly being in a relationship in the (somewhat) near future. If you know me, you know that that’s definitely progress…

Ladies, Love Yourself…

Someone will always be prettier. Someone will always be smarter.
Some of their houses will be bigger. Some will drive a better car.
Their children will do better in school.
And their husband will fix more things around the house.
So let it go, and love you and your circumstances.
Think about it!
The prettiest woman in the world can have hell in her heart.
And the most highly favored woman on your job may be unable to have children.
And the richest woman you know, she’s got the car, the house, the clothes, but she might be lonely.
The word says, “If I have not Love, I am nothing.”
So, again, love you. Love who you are.
Look in the mirror in the morning and smile and say, “I am too blessed to be stressed and too anointed to be disappointed!”
“Winners make things happen, losers let things happen.”

God’s Diet Plan

… and God populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower, spinach and green & yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.
And Satan created McDonald’s.
And McDonald’s brought forth the 99-cent double-cheeseburger.
And Satan said to Man, “You want fries with that?”
And Man said, “Super size them.”
And Man gained pounds.

And God created the healthful yogurt, that Woman might keep her figure that Man found so fair.
And Satan froze the yogurt, and he brought forth chocolate, nuts and brightly colored sprinkle candy to put on the yogurt.
And Woman gained pounds.

And God said, “Try My crispy fresh salad.”
And Satan brought forth creamy dressings, bacon bits and shredded cheese.
And there was ice cream for dessert.
And Woman gained pounds.

And God said, “I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil with which to cook them.”
And Satan brought forth chicken-fried steak from Cracker Barrel so big it needed its own platter.
And Man gained pounds, and his bad cholesterol went through the roof.

And God brought forth running shoes, and Man resolved to lose those extra pounds.
And Satan brought forth cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil to change channels between ESPN and ESPN2.
And Man gained pounds.

And God said, “You’re running up the score, Devil.”
And God brought forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition.
And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fat fried them.
And he created sour cream dip also.
And Man clutched his remote control and ate the potato chips swaddled in cholesterol.
And Satan saw and said, “It is good.”
And Man went into cardiac arrest.
And God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery…
And Satan created HMOs…

The Aftermath…

First off, let me say good morning as it is 7:50am when I’m writing this. In all honesty, I shouldn’t be doing anything except for sleeping. Or maybe going to the bathroom. Hell, its taking me quite a bit of time to type this but I think that has more to do with me using my Blackberry to write this than it does the mini-hangover I’m suffering from.

So, if you haven’t figured it out yet, I went out last night and did a little bit of drinking. In actuality, I think I did a lot of drinking, especially when I recall that I didn’t eat before consuming alcohol, which is an all-around no no for someone like me. (A little confused as to what I could be speaking about? Refer to the entry titled You Think You Know, But You Have No Idea… and read #13). I enjoyed myself though and that’s all that matters, right? Well, not so much. While I did have a great time, I also learned a very valuable lesson about myself. I know you’re all waiting in breathless anticipation for me to share this drunken epiphany I had. Here it is: at age 30 (yes I’m 30), I have somehow become an emotional drunk. Now, let me make sure I explain this correctly. I’m not one of those people that gets drunk and starts spazzing out on everyone in an alcohol-fueled, emotional rage. But I am a person that gets wrapped up in my feelings. Hell, I tend to do that when I’m sober so maybe it becomes more noticeable (at least to me) when I’m drinking. Who knows…

I bring this up because last night as well as the night before were spent with “The Woman of My…” (I’m still not able to finish that statement) and a few other friends. Now, I will admit (I’m mature enough to do so now) that I suffer from the same affliction that my father did, which is that I find it very difficult to tell the people that I care about how I feel about them in a serious manner. While my father chose to ignore the topic of his feelings for others altogether, I tend to try to make light of the topic by being making jokes. So let me say this now before I go on: if you are one of the select few people that truly means something to me, I love you from the bottom of my heart. All jokes aside, you help make life and all the things that I go through a little more bearable. But back to the topic…

The night started off okay. It was a group outing but most of the people that said they were coming didn’t show (another topic for another time). That’s okay because the folks that were in attendance made up for it. Now, I originally planned to remain sober for the whole night. Well, you know what they say about the best laid plans. One shot led to another, which ultimately led to me consuming my archenemy, Jose Cuervo (long story). But somewhere in between the shots, the dancing and me somehow tearing a hole in my favorite jeans (which I’m completely pissed off about), I got caught up in my feelings for “You Know Who” and couldn’t really find my way out. I do have to commend myself because while I might have been an emotional trainwreck on the inside, I was able to maintain my composure (I think). Now, this happened to me after only a couple of shots, just imagine how I felt after consuming my nemesis. It took everything in my 5’10”, 235 pound frame (and no, I’m not fat. You would never guess I weigh that much by just looking at me) to keep my cool long enough to get away. But once I was able to distance myself from the situation, I rambled on about “You Know Who” to a good friend (thanks for listening, B) for the entire ride home. All bad…

Now, I know what you’re probably thinking. I even know what my best friend would say if she were to read this. Hell, part of me is thinking and saying the same thing. But its not that easy. We don’t pick the people we love and we damn sure don’t have a say so in who we fall in love with. Yeah, I said it. I’m in love with “The Woman of My…” (I swear I’m gonna finish that statement one day). I’m not exactly sure when it happened, hell I’m still working on figuring out why it happened. But somewhere on this twisted journey that is my relationship with “You Know Who,” I fell into the deep end of the pool. Too bad I can’t swim…

Still Suffering…

This writer’s block is kicking my ass! It has officially been 2 weeks since I’ve written anything, and that’s 3 weeks too damn long! I’m not trying to say that I’m used to churning ’em out on a daily basis, but I usually write something everyday. That’s not the case right now. This is not my first bout with writer’s block nor is it the longest (yet) but that doesn’t make it any less aggravating. I guess the main reason for this increased level of aggravation is that I don’t even have the desire to write. Could this be the end of my lyrical prowess? I hope not…

NBA All-Star Starters Announced

http://m.espn.go.com/nba/story?w=1ab2t&e=SPR&storyId=6066285