“The Revolution Will Not Be Televised” by Gil Scott-Heron

You will not be able to stay home, brother.
You will not be able to plug in, turn on and cop out.
You will not be able to lose yourself on skag and
skip out for beer during commercials,
Because the revolution will not be televised.

The revolution will not be televised.
The revolution will not be brought to you by Xerox
In 4 parts without commercial interruptions.
The revolution will not show you pictures of Nixon
blowing a bugle and leading a charge by John
Mitchell, General Abrams and Mendel Rivers to eat
hog maws confiscated from a Harlem sanctuary.

The revolution will not be televised.
The revolution will not be brought to you by the
Schaefer Award Theatre and will not star Natalie
Woods and Steve McQueen or Bullwinkle and Julia.
The revolution will not give your mouth sex appeal.
The revolution will not get rid of the nubs.
The revolution will not make you look five pounds
thinner, the revolution will not be televised, Brother.

There will be no pictures of you and Willie Mays
pushing that shopping cart down the block on the dead run,
or trying to slide that color television into a stolen ambulance.
NBC will not be able predict the winner at 8:32
on reports from 29 districts.
The revolution will not be televised.

There will be no pictures of pigs shooting down
brothers in the instant replay.
There will be no pictures of Whitney Young being
run out of Harlem on a rail with a brand new process.
There will be no slow motion or still life of Roy
Wilkens strolling through Watts in a Red, Black and
Green liberation jumpsuit that he had been saving
For just the right occasion.

Green Acres, The Beverly Hillbillies, and Hooterville
Junction will no longer be so god damned relevant, and
women will not care if Dick finally screwed
Jane on Search for Tomorrow because Black people
will be in the street looking for a brighter day.
The revolution will not be televised.

There will be no highlights on the eleven o’clock
news and no pictures of hairy armed women
liberationists and Jackie Onassis blowing her nose.
The theme song will not be written by Jim Webb or
Francis Scott Key, nor sung by Glen Campbell, Tom
Jones, Johnny Cash or Englebert Humperdink.
The revolution will not be televised.

The revolution will not be right back
after a message about a white tornado, white lightning, or white people.
You will not have to worry about a dove in your
bedroom, a tiger in your tank, or the giant in your toilet bowl.
The revolution will not go better with Coke.
The revolution will not fight the germs that may cause bad breath.
The revolution will put you in the driver’s seat.

The revolution will not be televised, will not be televised,
will not be televised, will not be televised.
The revolution will be no re-run brothers;
The revolution will be live.

Our President’s Speech From His Second Inauguration (Yes, He’s YOUR President Too! Deal With It or Get the F*** Out!)

Vice President Biden, Mr. Chief Justice, Members of the United States Congress, distinguished guests, and fellow citizens:

Each time we gather to inaugurate a president, we bear witness to the enduring strength of our Constitution. We affirm the promise of our democracy. We recall that what binds this nation together is not the colors of our skin or the tenets of our faith or the origins of our names. What makes us exceptional – what makes us American – is our allegiance to an idea, articulated in a declaration made more than two centuries ago:

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness.”

Today we continue a never-ending journey, to bridge the meaning of those words with the realities of our time. For history tells us that while these truths may be self-evident, they have never been self-executing; that while freedom is a gift from God, it must be secured by His people here on Earth. The patriots of 1776 did not fight to replace the tyranny of a king with the privileges of a few or the rule of a mob. They gave to us a Republic, a government of, and by, and for the people, entrusting each generation to keep safe our founding creed.

For more than two hundred years, we have.

Through blood drawn by lash and blood drawn by sword, we learned that no union founded on the principles of liberty and equality could survive half-slave and half-free. We made ourselves anew, and vowed to move forward together.

Together, we determined that a modern economy requires railroads and highways to speed travel and commerce; schools and colleges to train our workers.

Together, we discovered that a free market only thrives when there are rules to ensure competition and fair play.

Together, we resolved that a great nation must care for the vulnerable, and protect its people from life’s worst hazards and misfortune.

Through it all, we have never relinquished our skepticism of central authority, nor have we succumbed to the fiction that all society’s ills can be cured through government alone. Our celebration of initiative and enterprise; our insistence on hard work and personal responsibility, these are constants in our character.

But we have always understood that when times change, so must we; that fidelity to our founding principles requires new responses to new challenges; that preserving our individual freedoms ultimately requires collective action. For the American people can no more meet the demands of today’s world by acting alone than American soldiers could have met the forces of fascism or communism with muskets and militias. No single person can train all the math and science teachers we’ll need to equip our children for the future, or build the roads and networks and research labs that will bring new jobs and businesses to our shores. Now, more than ever, we must do these things together, as one nation, and one people.

This generation of Americans has been tested by crises that steeled our resolve and proved our resilience. A decade of war is now ending. An economic recovery has begun. America’s possibilities are limitless, for we possess all the qualities that this world without boundaries demands: youth and drive; diversity and openness; an endless capacity for risk and a gift for reinvention. My fellow Americans, we are made for this moment, and we will seize it – so long as we seize it together.

For we, the people, understand that our country cannot succeed when a shrinking few do very well and a growing many barely make it. We believe that America’s prosperity must rest upon the broad shoulders of a rising middle class. We know that America thrives when every person can find independence and pride in their work; when the wages of honest labor liberate families from the brink of hardship. We are true to our creed when a little girl born into the bleakest poverty knows that she has the same chance to succeed as anybody else, because she is an American, she is free, and she is equal, not just in the eyes of God but also in our own.

We understand that outworn programs are inadequate to the needs of our time. We must harness new ideas and technology to remake our government, revamp our tax code, reform our schools, and empower our citizens with the skills they need to work harder, learn more, reach higher. But while the means will change, our purpose endures: a nation that rewards the effort and determination of every single American. That is what this moment requires. That is what will give real meaning to our creed.

We, the people, still believe that every citizen deserves a basic measure of security and dignity. We must make the hard choices to reduce the cost of health care and the size of our deficit. But we reject the belief that America must choose between caring for the generation that built this country and investing in the generation that will build its future. For we remember the lessons of our past, when twilight years were spent in poverty, and parents of a child with a disability had nowhere to turn. We do not believe that in this country, freedom is reserved for the lucky, or happiness for the few. We recognize that no matter how responsibly we live our lives, any one of us, at any time, may face a job loss, or a sudden illness, or a home swept away in a terrible storm. The commitments we make to each other – through Medicare, and Medicaid, and Social Security – these things do not sap our initiative; they strengthen us. They do not make us a nation of takers; they free us to take the risks that make this country great.

We, the people, still believe that our obligations as Americans are not just to ourselves, but to all posterity. We will respond to the threat of climate change, knowing that the failure to do so would betray our children and future generations. Some may still deny the overwhelming judgment of science, but none can avoid the devastating impact of raging fires, and crippling drought, and more powerful storms. The path towards sustainable energy sources will be long and sometimes difficult. But America cannot resist this transition; we must lead it. We cannot cede to other nations the technology that will power new jobs and new industries – we must claim its promise. That’s how we will maintain our economic vitality and our national treasure – our forests and waterways; our croplands and snowcapped peaks. That is how we will preserve our planet, commanded to our care by God. That’s what will lend meaning to the creed our fathers once declared.

We, the people, still believe that enduring security and lasting peace do not require perpetual war. Our brave men and women in uniform, tempered by the flames of battle, are unmatched in skill and courage. Our citizens, seared by the memory of those we have lost, know too well the price that is paid for liberty. The knowledge of their sacrifice will keep us forever vigilant against those who would do us harm. But we are also heirs to those who won the peace and not just the war, who turned sworn enemies into the surest of friends, and we must carry those lessons into this time as well.

We will defend our people and uphold our values through strength of arms and rule of law. We will show the courage to try and resolve our differences with other nations peacefully – not because we are naïve about the dangers we face, but because engagement can more durably lift suspicion and fear. America will remain the anchor of strong alliances in every corner of the globe; and we will renew those institutions that extend our capacity to manage crisis abroad, for no one has a greater stake in a peaceful world than its most powerful nation. We will support democracy from Asia to Africa; from the Americas to the Middle East, because our interests and our conscience compel us to act on behalf of those who long for freedom. And we must be a source of hope to the poor, the sick, the marginalized, the victims of prejudice – not out of mere charity, but because peace in our time requires the constant advance of those principles that our common creed describes: tolerance and opportunity; human dignity and justice.

We, the people, declare today that the most evident of truths – that all of us are created equal – is the star that guides us still; just as it guided our forebears through Seneca Falls, and Selma, and Stonewall; just as it guided all those men and women, sung and unsung, who left footprints along this great Mall, to hear a preacher say that we cannot walk alone; to hear a King proclaim that our individual freedom is inextricably bound to the freedom of every soul on Earth.

It is now our generation’s task to carry on what those pioneers began. For our journey is not complete until our wives, our mothers, and daughters can earn a living equal to their efforts. Our journey is not complete until our gay brothers and sisters are treated like anyone else under the law – for if we are truly created equal, then surely the love we commit to one another must be equal as well. Our journey is not complete until no citizen is forced to wait for hours to exercise the right to vote. Our journey is not complete until we find a better way to welcome the striving, hopeful immigrants who still see America as a land of opportunity; until bright young students and engineers are enlisted in our workforce rather than expelled from our country. Our journey is not complete until all our children, from the streets of Detroit to the hills of Appalachia to the quiet lanes of Newtown, know that they are cared for, and cherished, and always safe from harm.

That is our generation’s task – to make these words, these rights, these values – of Life, and Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness – real for every American. Being true to our founding documents does not require us to agree on every contour of life; it does not mean we all define liberty in exactly the same way, or follow the same precise path to happiness. Progress does not compel us to settle centuries-long debates about the role of government for all time – but it does require us to act in our time.

For now decisions are upon us, and we cannot afford delay. We cannot mistake absolutism for principle, or substitute spectacle for politics, or treat name-calling as reasoned debate. We must act, we must act knowing that our work will be imperfect. We must act, knowing that today’s victories will be only partial, and that it will be up to those who stand here in four years, and forty years, and four hundred years hence to advance the timeless spirit once conferred to us in a spare Philadelphia hall.

My fellow Americans, the oath I have sworn before you today, like the one recited by others who serve in this Capitol, was an oath to God and country, not party or faction – and we must faithfully execute that pledge during the duration of our service. But the words I spoke today are not so different from the oath that is taken each time a soldier signs up for duty, or an immigrant realizes her dream. My oath is not so different from the pledge we all make to the flag that waves above and that fills our hearts with pride.

They are the words of citizens, and they represent our greatest hope.

You and I, as citizens, have the power to set this country’s course.

You and I, as citizens, have the obligation to shape the debates of our time – not only with the votes we cast, but with the voices we lift in defense of our most ancient values and enduring ideals.

Let each of us now embrace, with solemn duty and awesome joy, what is our lasting birthright. With common effort and common purpose, with passion and dedication, let us answer the call of history, and carry into an uncertain future that precious light of freedom.

Thank you, God Bless you, and may He forever bless these United States of America.

Finishing touches on inaugural platform

Finishing touches on inaugural platform.

Catfish (I Hate the Fact I Feel Compelled to Write This…)

Good afternoon world! Hopefully this blog finds you in good health and even better spirits. I don’t really have a lot to say that doesn’t have to do with today’s topic, so let’s get right to it.

So, after being bombarded with all the coverage of “Manti Te’o fake dead girlfriend” story over the past few days and constantly hearing references to Catfish, I decided to watch the movie. I had never heard of this movie up until now. Let me just say that a part of me feels like that might have been the biggest mistake I’ve made in a while, like the last piece of my innocence was violently snatched away. My soul feels violated. If you’re unfamiliar with the movie (as I was), here’s the synopsis from IMDB:

“In late 2007, filmmakers Ariel Schulman and Henry Joost sensed a story unfolding as they began to film the life of Ariel’s brother, Nev. They had no idea that their project would lead to the most exhilarating and unsettling months of their lives. A reality thriller that is a shocking product of our times, Catfish is a riveting story of love, deception and grace within a labyrinth of online intrigue.”

I know that doesn’t really give away a lot, but keep reading.

Now, I know I would never find myself in a situation like the guy from Catfish or Manti. I’m too jaded cautious to allow myself to blindly get caught up like that. I’m good to Google the hell outta somebody long before I even contemplate catching feelings. But, as I’ve said on countless occasions, I’m a die-hard romantic. Even though I knew how the movie was gonna end, I was sitting here hoping and wishing that the girl was gonna be real and they would live happily ever after. That’s why I feel so violated. It takes a lot for a person to put themselves out and open up, to give a piece of your soul to someone and have faith that they won’t mistreat it. And I’m just talking about relationships in general, imagine how much more difficult it is to do it across distance and via electronic communication. That’s gotta be exponentially more difficult and nobody deserves to be victimized like that.

Some of you are probably thinking, “He’s relating his own story to what happened in the movie.” Please believe me, that couldn’t be further from the truth. Like I said, I’m jaded cautious when it comes to affairs of the heart and take time to thoroughly investigate anybody that I let in because I’ve had my heart broken before. But we’ve all had our gullible moments when it comes to our dealings with the opposite sex, especially us men. That’s how we become jaded cautious in regards to our romantic lives in the first place.

But on the other hand, some things are too good to be true and should be treated as such. How many times have you randomly met somebody on Facebook (or Myspace, Twitter, Blackplanet, Migente, etc.) and they were pretty much perfect? Not just perfect for you, but generally considered as perfect? Not only did he fall for the chick, but his brother and friend did too. Where does that happen at? Go ahead and take a second to think about it, I’ll wait…

I’ve only met 2 or 3 women in life that I would say are perfect for me (yes, one of them is the current object of my affection), and I’m pretty damn sure I’ve never met a perfect person. Maybe I’m just not going to the right places. But on the flip side, I wouldn’t want a “perfect” person. I’m far from perfect (don’t tell anybody I said that), so I know I wouldn’t be able to keep perfection satisfied. Or maybe I could, I am the shit…

I think that’s all I have for today, I’m not really up for going into some long diatribe about the perils of meeting someone on the internet. Especially considering that I’m just shy of falling head over heels for somebody that I met online. Don’t want to give that jaded cautious side of me too much to think about. So until next time, peace and love…

Peter Pan Vs. Captain Hook (aka The Eternal Struggle)

Good evening world! I hope this blog finds you in good health and even better spirits. If I haven’t said it previously, Happy New Year! Aren’t you happy that all that Mayan apocalypse talk was just a bunch of bull? I know I am, I got things to do in 2013. I know you’re probably looking at the title and wondering, “What in the world is this fool gonna talk about today?” Well, lets not waste anymore time and get right into it.

As I sit here on this dreary Wednesday in Georgia, I feel at conflict with myself. Those that know me, and I mean truly know me, know that I struggle with the Peter Pan Syndrome. If you don’t know what the Peter Pan Syndrome is, that’s what Wikipedia is for. I feel like I’ve said that before, but I digress. Now while I’m not a full-blown, Michael Jackson-esque man-child, I do have my moments where being an adult is just not what’s up. But then again, I think we’re all prone to those gaps in maturity at times. I just think mine are more pronounced, or they tend to last longer. So maybe the real gaps are when I chose to be mature and do what is necessary instead of what I want. Either way.

I think the reason why I’m so wrapped up in my Peter Pan lifestyle is because I have no real responsibilities. I have no children, no other life that I’m responsible for. No connections to others that would keep me from floating off with the slightest breeze. Enter our villain (read: hero), Captain Hook. Now, I know the image that comes to mind when you think of Captain Hook is nowhere near heroic. But, trust me, he’s the embodiment of everything that is good when it pertains to this story. Captain Hook represents the part of me that wants to become a real life grown up. That part that wants to settle down (not settle, that’s that s*** we just don’t do), get married, have some kids, establish some roots. So the next time the wind blows, I don’t feel the urge to float away.

Its funny to me to describe it like this. Because to you, these are just words on a screen. But to me, this is an epic battle. I can visualize Peter Pan, in a green graphic tee and some True Religion jeans (you weren’t expecting tights, were you?), doing battle with an Armani suit-clad Captain Hook. I wish I was an artist, I would put the image on canvas. Maybe I’ll see if I can find somebody to do it for me, sounds like an interesting piece to hang in my living room one day.

Well, that’s all I have today. So until next time, peace and love…

Need Versus Want

Good afternoon world! I hope this blog finds you in good health and even better spirits. As you can see I’m trying to do better about writing on a more consistent basis. Its highly doubtful that I’ll be able to keep up my current pace, but I will try. Now, I know you’re looking at the title for today’s rant and wondering what exactly could I be talking about. Well, let’s dive right in.

As I was sitting at my laptop, playing around on Facebook, I came across this picture posted on a friend’s timeline…
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The picture was accompanied with the caption: “Why only when their life is a mess?” Now, this wasn’t the first time that I’ve come across this picture, or some variation of it. I totally agree with what it says, I actually posted this picture on my own timeline in October…
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My issue is with the question posed along with the picture.

There’s a reason why a man NEEDS a woman when times are bad. That’s because that’s when a man NEEDS someone that has his back, someone that’s holding him down through thick and thin. He NEEDS someone encouraging him to keep fighting. He NEEDS someone reminding him of his worth, because the world has found a way to knock him down and shake his confidence. He NEEDS the strength that only the love of a woman can provide at that time. When things are going good, he WANTS a woman because he WANTS to share his success with someone that cares about him. There’s a difference. The thing most women don’t realize is that in order to be the woman he WANTS, you have to be the woman he NEEDS.

That’s not to say that women are expendable when a man has everything and invaluable when he has nothing. In the mind and heart of real man, the NEED of a good woman when he’s down on his luck and the WANT of a good woman when he’s on top of the world are one in the same. Its all about the wanting/needing someone in your life that can provide what the world doesn’t give. A man always needs a woman to balance him out, no matter what the situation is. There are certain things that we just aren’t capable of doing for ourselves. Now, I know everybody’s mind almost instantly wants to take that last sentence with a sexual undertone, but its much deeper than that.

By nature, the vast majority of men are hunters and providers. We have the innate ability and drive to go out and make something happen. By nature, the vast majority of women are nurturers. They’re born with the instincts to take whatever the world gives them and make it into what they need. They’re like two sides of the same coin, you need both to truly succeed. That’s the reason why men that have the love of a good woman feel like they can do anything.

Now, I understand why my friend posed the question. She, like most women in my generation, have been hurt by men. They’ve gone out of their way to try and be the woman that a man NEEDS, only to watch that guy walk out on them. Or cheat, or commit one of a number of transgressions that have the ability to monumentally shake a person’s faith in the opposite sex, and maybe even themselves. And it sucks. Trust me, I know. It sucks to open yourself up like that and see it blow up in your face. But the thing that needs to be remembered is that it takes more than a dick to be a man, just like it takes more than a vagina and breasts to be a woman. You have to look at the content and character of a person before you can fully determine whether or not they’re worthy of your most precious gift, your heart.

That’s all I got for today, I think. So until next time, peace and love…

You Think You Know, But You Have No Idea… (For the 4th Time)

Good evening world! I hope this blog finds you in good health and even better spirits. As you can see by the title, I’m here to share more facts about myself that most people just don’t know. A little background before we get into it. I started this string of entries in January 2009 and have tried my hardest to be meticulous about posting a new version shortly after the New Year. Some of the items are repeated each year, but I try to add something new each time. So without further adieu, here we go…

1. I grew up as an only child and am JEALOUS of people who have siblings. I always have been and probably always will be. But if I had the choice to have siblings when I was a child, I don’t think I would really want them. I loved my childhood (for the most part).

2. I’m still probably one of the shyest people you will ever meet. I’ve been like that for years, but I’m better about approaching women now than I used to be. I still have my moments when I find it hard to speak, though.

3. I’m originally from Kansas City, MO but consider Atlanta, GA my hometown. It’s a long story as to why. Out of all the places I’ve lived, and the list is pretty long, Atlanta is the first place I felt like I fit in. I feel awkward when I go back to MO to visit. Which is one of the main reasons my visits are so spaced out. There are others, but I’m not sure this is the right forum to share those.

4. I’m still secretly insecure about my looks, which is why I love to go shopping. I always figured I could make up for not being the most attractive man if I was the best dressed. Its also one of the reasons I got tattoos. And while I’m better about not being so hard on myself, I still have a long way to go.

5. I originally got tattoos as a conversation starter. But now, my tattoos have taken on their own significant meanings, especially the one on the lower part of my upper right arm. Its my father’s nickname (Chief) in Arabic. I plan on getting more in the very near future. I thought about getting one covered up, but decided against it. I realized that my ink tells the story of my life.

6. After careful review, I realized I’ve only been in love once, and have only had 4 serious romantic relationships in 30+ years of living. I’m still waiting to find lucky lady #5, hopefully she’ll be the last relationship I enter in to.

7. I’m afraid of growing up, which keeps me from being able to commit to anything serious. But at the same time, I’m afraid of not progressing in my life. Which is why I’m prone to become frustrated by being single. I think single life is for people under the age of 25 and sociopaths. I’m neither.

8. I believe nothing is more important than family, but I avoid the vast majority of the members of my family like they have the plague. Its because I really am a creature of habits, and I spent a large portion of my life without them. So, I’ve got used to being without my family. I am trying to change that, especially since I’m approaching the point in my life when I want to start a family.

9. I don’t have a lot of friends. And the friends I do have, I consider to be family. In all honesty, I love them more than I love my real family. Which isn’t to say that I don’t love my family, but I love my friends more.

10. Speaking of friends, most of my friends are female. I’m not too sure why, though. But it has led to my sexuality being questioned on numerous occasions.

11. I love hard and fast. I can tell within a few social encounters what kind of feelings I’ll have for a woman. And once I fall for her, my feelings don’t go away easily. If she doesn’t feel the same way, I usually cut off all communications just to spare my feelings.

12. I love to write and have been writing since 1995! I actually have cried because I had writer’s block. I can still honestly count on my hand the number of people that knew that prior to this series of blog entries!

13. I’m seriously claustrophobic! I can’t even ride in small cars without getting really nervous. So if you ever are on an elevator with me and I get quiet and grab the rail, that’s why.

14. I really am a nice guy! I adopted my “asshole” persona in high school. It was my way of dealing with being rejected by a girl that I was head over heels for. Over the years, I’ve mellowed out but I still have my moments when I can be a real jerk. I’ve always said that one day I would drop the facade altogether, but the timing still doesn’t feel right. But it’ll happen one day. Maybe…

15. I really want kids and have felt that way for about 8 or 9 years, but I’m scared to death at the same time that I won’t be a good father. That fear has kept me from fully committing myself to a relationship so far.

16. I’m seriously considering going back to school, not only so that I can get my degree but I also want to join a fraternity. I’m really self-conscious about doing it, though. I’ll be 32 when I start taking classes and I haven’t been in a classroom in over 10 years. Plus, I’m not too sure what I would study. I’m leaning towards business, but that’s bound to change like the weather.

17. My birthday is Omega Psi Phi’s Founder’s Day and my dad was an Omega. But when I was in high school and thinking about going to college, I wanted to be a Kappa. The first time I said it to my dad, he punched me in the chest. When and/or if I go back to school, I wanna pledge Omega Psi Phi just for him.

18. I don’t like to talk about anything that’s bothering me, I tend to keep it to myself and try to write about it if it gets to the point that I feel the need to get it off my chest. But with the ever increasing prolonged periods of writer’s block that I’m prone to, that’s becoming more and more difficult. Maybe I’ll find somebody to talk to one day.

19. I’m really old fashioned, to an extent. I don’t believe in having kids out of wedlock, and I only want to get married once. I think that (along with some other factors that are mentioned above) has kept me from settling down or just running out and having a baby.

20. I believe nothing is more important than family, but I avoid the vast majority of the members of my family like they have the plague. Its because I really am a creature of habits, and I spent a large portion of my life without them. So, I’ve gotten used to being without my family. I really want to change that, especially since I’m approaching the point in my life when I want to start a family.

21. I’ve been diagnosed with depression, but refuse to take medication for it. But I have really valid reasons as to why. First, anything that has a side effect of “suicidal thoughts” doesn’t sound like something I want to put in my body. I can have suicidal thoughts on my own, I don’t need a pill for that. Secondly, I’m deathly afraid that anything a doctor would give me to combat depression would completely kill my vibe. While it might keep me from suffering through the low-end of the emotional spectrum, it might also prevent me from experiencing the high end. I know it sounds silly, but that’s how I feel.

That’s all I want to share for now. This might be the last year I do this, just because its becoming increasingly more difficult to come up with new things to share. Don’t hold me to that, though. You never know what this year might bring about. But in the meantime, if you have any questions, just ask. I don’t bite. Unless you want me to, and that’s a conversation for another day. So until next time, peace and love…

Ain’t It Funny? Don’t Ya Think?

Once again, good evening world! Hopefully, this blog finds you in good health and even better spirits. I know what you’re thinking, “Didn’t he just post a poem because he said he couldn’t think of anything to write about?” Well, you’re absolutely right! I literally just posted a poem and then I was struck by inspiration. At least I think it was inspiration, it might’ve been a stoke. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a stroke because I still have full control of all my bodily functions and don’t feel particularly strokish right now. But I digress…

Now I know you’re wondering, what kind of inspiration could hit me in just a few seconds. Well, that’s the funny part. I literally was hit with a spark all because of a Facebook notification (gotta love FB sometimes). Once again, I know what you’re thinking, “What kind of notification was that?” It wasn’t so much about the notification itself as it was the person that caused it to happen. Yes ladies and gentlemen, this is another diatribe about a woman that has caught my eye.

Before I begin, let me warn you. Unlike most of my entries, this is completely off-the-cuff. Not sure what that means? Well, basically that means I’m prone to repeating myself and some of thoughts might not be completely coherent. But it will all be grammatically correct, I’m not a monster. Furthermore, because I haven’t taken the time to mentally outline my thoughts, everything I say write will be completely unfiltered. So there’s a good chance I might say write something that is potentially embarrassing to me, my loved ones and quite possibly the subject of this post. Still wanna keep reading? Good, let’s get started…

Have you ever interacted with someone and they find a way to completely ensnare you with even the simplest of things? Neither had I until I had the good fortune of coming across this lady. Since we “met” last year, I can’t seem to get her out of my mind. Please believe me when I say that no woman has ever had me this enthralled without doing something completely spectacular to capture my attention. I find myself thinking about her on a pretty regular basis. There are songs that remind me of her and when i hear them, I listen to them over and over again. I ain’t trying to say I’m in love, but damn, this is more than the average “She’s pretty easy on the eyes” reaction that most women get from me nowadays.

Up until this point, I’ve been pretty vague about the circumstances of my connection to this woman. Let me stop that now. As of today, we have yet to physically meet. We’re FB friends, we’ve shared a few text message conversations, talked on the phone a few times but I have yet to lay my eyes on her. And that kills me. If this woman has managed to capture my heart pique my interest purely through electronic communication, what chance do I stand in person? We all know that I’m nothing more than a quivering mass of mushy, romantic ass, man jelly. What happens when my real-life version of the movie You’ve Got Mail comes to climatic scene where the two protagonists meet? What if she doesn’t meet my standards I don’t meet her standards? What if she’s not interested in me the same way? If that was to happen, I seriously think my heart would push its way out of my chest cavity and commit Harakiri on the spot. I know that sounds a bit dramatic, but what else would you expect from me? And if you don’t know what Harakiri is, well that’s what Wikipedia is for.

For those that know me (or have at least read a few of the entries in this blog), you know that I think of myself as the world’s largest walking contradiction. For just about every adjective you could use to describe me, you could also use the opposite and still be correct. This completely asinine and annoying character trait is most prevalent when examining my social/romantic life (or lack thereof at the present moment). When I’m around a group of people, I’m the life of the party. I’m outgoing, charming, witty, all that good shit. But let me get around a woman that I’m digging and I clam the fuck up. I start shaking like a leaf and shit, its just not a good look for me. I swear I hate that about myself.

Now, I know this is my first time mentioning, let alone devoting an entire post, to this woman. And there’s a very good reason for that. I’ve been trying my hardest failing miserably to put my thoughts and feelings about this woman into words. If there’s one thing I can do, its wax poetic about pretty much anything that comes to mind. Compound that with my mile-wide romantic streak, and you would think there would be volumes of sonnets written to and inspired by this woman. But there’s not. She literally has my silly ass tongue-tied. And that truly sucks because I have not been able to fully express how I feel. Hence the reason for this entry.

Now, that’s all I’m gonna share with you guys today. That’s not to say that my thoughts of this woman aren’t a little more in depth, but I have my reasons for not wanting to put them all out there right now. Mainly because I don’t want to scare her off if and/or when she decides to read this. So until next time, peace and love…

Something New (Inspired by Life and the Movie)

Good evening world! I hope this blog once again finds you in good health and even better spirits. I know its been awhile, but that’s nothing new. On to what brings us together today.

Since my last entry, I’ve been finding myself logging on to WordPress and just staring at a blank screen, hoping that an idea would hit me. Obviously, nothing came to mind, so I decided to share some more poetry with you. Maybe next time, I’ll have something to say. But until then, enjoy!

Damn…
Of all the things that could come into my life and disrupt my plans
Why did it have to be her?
I was prepared for everything, even some stormy weather
But I never could’ve seen being blindsided by this woman
She’s the best and worst thing that could’ve happened to me
At a time when I thought I had all that I could need
Her name is Katrina, it’s appropriate I guess
Since she came through and made my world a bit of a mess
5’6″ with long blonde hair and the prettiest green eyes
She looked through me, into my soul and had me mesmerized
Our instant attraction was more than just alarming
Because I’ve never been one for “extra milk in my coffee”
Then she made me a latte’ just the way I like it
She got me to paint her nails, even made me go hiking
We were just having fun, being young and in love
It felt as if our relationship had been touched from above
And then the rest of the world stuck their noses in our life
“You 2 together just ain’t right, you’re black and she’s white”
Love may be blind but people sure as hell can see everything
Except the beauty of my feelings for her and hers for me
Interracial love isn’t some kind of fad, nor should it be taboo
If you open your heart, maybe you can get something new too

Love, Marriage & Everything In Between… (Just My Thoughts & Feelings)

Good morning world! I hope this blog finds you in good health and even better spirits. I know its been a while since I actually wrote to you guys, but I haven’t had much to say. Today, we’re gonna talk about probably one of my favorite and least favorite subjects, love. I know what you’re thinking, “How can it be a favorite and least favorite at the same damn time?” That’s simple, keep reading and you’ll find out.

Anybody that truly knows me knows I’m true romantic at heart. I’m the guy that watches romantic comedies. Not because I’m being forced to by my girlfriend/wife, but because I like to see people in love. That and Hollywood’s warped perception of the dynamics of romantic relationships is the funniest thing ever. But that’s a topic for another day, maybe.

As I sit here on this December morning at the ripe “old” age of 32, I find myself recounting my romantic history. I can count on a single hand the number of SERIOUS relationships I’ve had in my life. Of course, like any reasonably attractive male in America, I’ve had my fair share of casual relationships. And I’ve had more than my fair share of bullshit interactions with women to fill in the time in between something with a little more substance. But as I sit here and think of those handful of true romances, I realize that I’ve only been in love once in my life. That’s not to say that I didn’t have very strong feelings for all of the women that were more than just bit players in the grand production that is my life. Hell, I can say with a certain amount of certainty that I loved (and in some cases might still love) every woman that has played a significant role in my own personal Rom-Com. But, so far, there has only been one woman that I can truly say I was IN love with.

I think a lot of people don’t know the difference between LOVING someone and being IN LOVE with someone. That could be one of the reasons why the divorce rate in this country is so damn high. Who knows. I wish I could put into words what it means to be in love, but the experience is different for each person. So, I’ll try my best to describe what being in love was like for me. Hopefully, it’ll help. First off, all the cliches that you hear were true for me. I found myself thinking about her first thing in the morning and as I laid my head down each night. I was ready, willing and able to do anything that would bring a smile to her face. I placed her above myself in the hierarchy of my life, almost to my detriment at times. I loved her daughter as if she was my own. I lost track of “me” and focused solely on “us.” I know you’re probably thinking none of these things sound especially monumental, but they are to me. I’m probably one of the most self-centered people you will ever meet, but that’s because I only have myself to worry about. So for me to put someone else’s wants and needs ahead of my own is enormously significant.

For as grateful as I am to be able to say that I was in love with someone at some point in my life (because everybody is not that fortunate), I think it came a little too early in my life. I was in my mid-20’s and still smelling myself. While a part of me was ready to settle down the other half wanted to be on some Wilt Chamberlain type shit. Talk about a conflict of interest. I’m not sure if this internal strife led to the destruction of my relationship with this young lady, but I know it has kept me from truly committing to anyone since then. That’s not to say that I haven’t had offers, but I knew that I still needed to work on me a little bit more. Its hard to wholly give yourself to one person when you’re still trying to smash every PYT that walks past you. I’d rather be alone than be a cheater, I do have some kind of moral fiber.

So here I am, awaiting the chance to take on the next great adventure that my life has to offer me, married life and parenthood. And while I can have the former without the latter, I’m not one for reversing that. Did I lose some of you? Let me say it differently then. I’m at point in my life (and probably have been for the better part of 2-3 years) where I’m ready to be a husband and father. Its one thing I’ve never tried my hand at and I’m anxious and excited to do. And while I would be able to live with being a husband only (even though its not my preference), I can’t say thing about only being a father. No disrespect to any of you that had children out of wedlock, but that’s just not who I am. I was raised to believe that the title of husband was mandatory to become a father. I know that’s biologically correct (I’m not an idiot), but you know what I mean. Like I said before, I do have some kind of moral fiber. Once again, no disrespect to those of you that took a different path to parenthood.

I was raised to think that being a husband was the second greatest position a man could ever hold, second only to being a father. That’s why I have the hardest time understanding men that shy away from stepping up to the plate, especially when it comes to their children. I understand shit happens, relationships fall apart, condoms break, accidents happen. But if your actions resulted in the creation of a life (the only miracle that humans can pull off), be adult enough to shoulder the responsibility. Scratch that. Saying it like that makes it sound like a burden. While the financial, emotional and physical strain of having kids in today’s society might be daunting, no kid should ever be viewed as albatross that you’re forced to bear. Having kids is a privilege. A privilege that some people take for granted. If you don’t believe me, just ask someone that’s trying to have kids with no success.

I dream of the day that I have a son (even though I know I’m going to have a daughter. Karma is an evil bitch). I daydream about playing catch, teaching him to tie a tie, etc. I know it sounds like a bunch of sappy shit and some of you might not believe me, but these are thoughts that run rampant in my head. I pray on daily basis for the opportunity to be a husband and father. I just don’t get how everybody doesn’t feel like that. Okay, I can understand not wanting to be married, its not for everybody. I get that. But what kind of monster doesn’t want to be a parent? Especially if you already have children? Seriously, if you can’t get excited about being in your child’s life and seeing them become the person that God intends for them to be, you should kill yourself. Twice. Maybe three times just to be certain that you did it right.

My dreams of fatherhood doesn’t end with just me and my child. I have large scale dreams of grand and opulent wedding that all my family members and closest friends attend. My hours of REM sleep are spent envisioning a life that I want. Tasks and duties that would seem small and mundane to those that are already married or have no soul are the things I pine for. Like I said, I’m a romantic. While most people pray for a million dollars, I pray to meet the woman I’m going to spend my life with. I wish for a million dollars too, but I want the woman more.

I think that’s all I have for today. Actually its not, but where my train of thought is heading now would better be served as a separate entry. So maybe we’ll make that happen tomorrow, but I’m not making any promises. So until the next time we meet, peace and love…